If you have children, you are probably familiar with the stage they go through where everything has “why?” attached to it.
“Why is the sky blue?” “Why do dogs bark?” “Why do I have to go to bed?” It’s been some time since my children have been through this stage, but they still ask why quite often. Usually it’s when I tell them they can’t do something.
Last night I was at Redbox renting a movie. There was a father with two boys who looked to be about ages 6 and 12. They kept suggesting movies to rent to which the father would reply no, and then they would argue, “But why can’t we watch that movie, Daddy?”
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I was never a nervous or controlling person growing up. I always thought of myself as pretty relaxed and down to earth. Then I got married and had children.
When my children were small, I remember how every little thing concerning their young lives was such a huge deal. My life became rigorous and scheduled, as opposed to care free and spontaneous. As my children grew older, I became a very anxious and controlling person. It was not something I ever expected to be, it just was. I remember standing in the doorway of the bathroom as my daughter brushed her hair and got ready for school to “make sure she did it right”.
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“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” -Elizabeth Stone
There was a time when I thought this road called Motherhood would one day become breezy.
One day when ear infections and the middle-of-the-night stomach flu were a thing of the past. One day when homework no longer required my assistance and lunches no longer needed packing. One day when they’d shop for their own clothes and purchase the extras with – could it be – their own money.
Now I know differently.
There are no breezy sections on this Motherhood Road.
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She stirs and dark lashes flutter against rosy cheeks. Not quite ready to wake, she turns over nestling her favorite pink blanket and sighs. Eyes shut. But the light beckons her to life, and she rolls onto her back.
Stretching. 
Blinking.
She takes in her surroundings, making sweets babbles as she recognizes the familiar. Seconds pass before she realizes she is awake and remembers.
Remembers to look for me.
She flips and immediately pulls upright on her crib rail, waiting.
She calls for me in a singsong babble. And waits –
-until she sees my face appear around the doorway. For a split second she freezes, not knowing whether to laugh or cry that I am there.
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It’s another ordinary day.
You woke up to your three-year-old whining, “I don’t feel gooood.” You stumble into the kitchen to find last night’s dishes still piled in the sink. You are days overdue on the laundry, and your six-year-old is yelling from her bedroom, “Don’t forget, Mom, it’s my turn to take the snacks to Brownies today.”
Most of us have been there . . . waaaay tooo often!
What’s a girl to do when she has reached her last nerve and all she wants to do is climb back into bed and pull the covers over her head?…
Stop, breathe, and remind herself that she is not alone.
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I have been reflecting on God’s goodness over the past couple of months. There are so many ways that He has blessed, encouraged, brought healing, provision, strength, hope and joy to my life. In all of these areas, I have seen His immeasurable goodness towards me and I am so grateful.
Over the last couple of days I have been meditating on this Psalm:
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8 NIV)
I don’t just want to SEE the goodness of the Lord, but I want to TASTE it!
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Our children are in the process of potty-training our two and a half year old grandson. He is a willing and happy learner, but he is definitely still in a work in progress. A few weeks ago they shared the following story with me:
“Your grandson is trying, but lately when he misses his potty chair and leaves a little puddle on the floor, he goes and finds Zoe. (Their new puppy, who is still little enough for a two and a half year old boy to carry and is still in training herself).
JJ carries Zoe to the puddle, puts her nose by it, and scolds her.
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I have recently been reading a book- Broken Down House by Paul Tripp- which has made me rethink my views of some things. One of things the book has made me rethink is my view of ministry.
Often, I see ministry as what I do at church. I work in the nursery once a month. I teach a Sunday School class. I help in AWANA. I am involved in ministry. But Tripp challenges us in the book to think of ministry as our lifestyle. Ministry shouldn’t be what I do on the side. My life should be my ministry.
When I am frustrated with my husband, remember, my marriage is my ministry.
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