Written on
July 31, 2012 by
Kris in
Blog
But the Israelites acted unfaithfully in regard to the devoted things; Achan son of Carmi, the son of Zimri, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of them. So the Lord’s anger burned against Israel. Joshua 7:1
Quizically, they’re looking at me from across the chipped up table and I’m starting to get uncomfortable. My throat’s tightening up I keep swallowing forcing the moan that’s building back down. I’ve read this story before, but this reaction that’s usurping me–this is a first.
We’re reading the story of Joshua leading the Israelites into battle and they have just lost the battle at Ai.
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Summer. It’s popsicles, pool parties, sunscreen, watermelon, late nights, and sleepovers. It’s air conditioning, family reunions, camping trips, and water balloon fights. It’s Vacation Bible School. It’s swimming lessons. It’s fireworks. It’s ice cream.
It seems like it comes and goes in a blink, as we’re carried from packing to unpacking to laundry to the pool to a friend’s house and back again. Summer is a hummingbird, darting from flower to flower, wings a-buzzing, never stopping.
It’s the fast season — where plants grow and flowers bloom, water rushes off melting glaciers and insects fill the skies. All nature moves quicker with this season of warmth and prosperity.
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You are finally here. After weeks and months of planning, you are here. It’s hot, but you don’t mind. You can almost feel the wind whipping through your hair already. A bead of sweat strolls lazily down your back, but your smile doesn’t waver.
As you walk through the gates you grab a map. It’s not like you need one. You memorized the lay of the park even last night before you fell asleep, knowing which rides you would hit first. Your arms swing quickly to keep time with your step.
Finally, you catch sight of it in the distance. Your eyes strain to read the sign at the entrance.
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Let me begin by telling you that I have battled depression . . . both situational and chemical/hormonal. I’ve been depressed at times when the people around me understood, and at times when they had no idea what to do or how to help.
If you are dealing with depression know that I am praying for you as I write this.
Something I have learned from my struggle with depression:
I want to be happy!
If you want to be happy too . . . I have some suggestions for you:
1. Get help – Talk to your doctor, talk to a counselor, confide in someone you trust.
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The other day I overheard my husband ask my 6-year-old son if he felt connected to God when he prayed. He answered, “I don’t know.” My husband started to explain that hearing the big words used by grownups in prayer could pressure him that big words were the way to talk to God. He encouraged him to pray to the Father with the words he would talk to his own daddy with – just normal 6-year-old language.
As I listened I thought how so many times we as “grownups” could answer the exact same way as my son: “I don’t really know if I feel connected to God when I pray.”
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“If we have learned anything over the last 22 years it’s this: God is able to do the impossible! We have seen it time and time again.” ~Tom and Allie Harvey, Safari Zoological Park.
I like to hear and share faith stories—stories of miracles and of God’s provision. Tom and Allie Harvey are living a story of faith through their Safari Zoological Park in Caney, Kansas.
This zoo is different from any other I’ve been to. Tom, Allie and their staff interact with the animals, including tigers, wolves, bears, and lemurs, just to name a few. Personal stories invite visitors into the lives of the animals, making you feel like you know them.
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The vacant field was a popular shortcut to school. Dividing the weed-covered square into two triangles, a path was rutted with evidence of bikes riding through the mud. Hardened by the sun, the deep grooves became permanent ruts from one corner of the field to the other.
I picture that rutted path now when I catch myself slipping into my mind’s default place of fearful thinking. Worry used to be my bedtime routine. Closing my eyes at night, I would meditate on the latest problem, looking at every side and angle in order to find the solution. Did I wake up refreshed?
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May I share something with you? I’m having one of those days months where no matter how hard I try, I don’t feel like I measure up.
We live in an age where I can compare myself to thousands of other women doing the same job I’m doing. I can read their blogs or spend time on Pinterest and catch glimpses of all the things they’re doing that I’m not. And never could.
I’ve never baked a flawlessly decorated cake for my son. I don’t sew or create magnificent scrapbook pages. The messiness of a sandbox gets the better of me sometimes and the thought of mud puddles or keeping any type of bug as a pet sends me into the fetal position.
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