Monthly Archives: April 2012

Giving Up My Baton

Tap. Tap. Tap.

All eyes are on the conductor. His hand goes up, the instruments are lifted into place, and on the down beat the music begins.

I want to be the conductor!

I want to lead, to turn around at the end of the performance and take my bow.

I want to hear the applause for a job well done.

Why won’t my family cooperate?

Families are works in progress. They are more like the fourth grade band than the Royal Philharmonic. Families are learning. Some days everything harmonizes perfectly and others . . . not so much. I can get so frustrated on those days when my family plays the wrong notes.

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Fashionable Faith

There’s no containing him. He squeals in delight as he gallops through the wet, sloppy grass. The curvy red slide calls to him like my reading chair calls to me. His hands wave with reckless abandon as if the movement will help him move faster towards his goal.

And I take that deep breath. The one where I remind myself control does not need to be mine. I can enjoy what comes my way. For there is joy to be found amidst the tall scaffolds of playground equipment.

You see, I wear worry like a fashion statement. Pain is something I try to avoid at all cost, especially when it can be inflicted on those I love.

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faster than anyone

He’s in a competitive phase lately — my son. Everything is “faster” and “stronger” and “better”.

And he’s the fastest and the best.

We remind him to be humble.

But the other day, during one of his “I’m faster than so-and-so monologues” he said thoughtfully, “mommy, no one is faster than God”.

Oh son. How right you are.

God can always catch up to us, no matter how far away we run. When we’re searching for Him, He’s there like a finger-snap. When we run down the beach toward him, He meets us way before we get halfway.

God is the fastest.

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He Equips Those He Calls

Do you ever question your calling? These passions that are bursting fully from your heart, yet you feel inadequate to run with them? I know I do.

As a mom, I often feel inadequate. In many ways, I am still learning to love and obey God. Yet, I have been given this enormous responsibility to teach my children to love and obey. How can I, an imperfect mom, show them how to love God will all of their heart, soul, mind and strength when I so often fall short?

As a wife, some days I feel as if I don’t measure up.

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Letter to a Tired Mother

Dear Mother,
God sees you. I needed to tell you that. Yes, I’m talking to you. Yes, you. God knows your hurts. He hears your quiet sobs in the night.

It stormed here last night. The rain fell, and my baby cried. I paced the floor between her bed and mine. The well-worn path needed nothing to illuminate the way. My heart led. That’s the way of things when your child is sick.

I wanted you to know there’ll be nights like this. There will be strings of nights like this. Each time you lay your body down, you’ll wonder, “Will I wake when she calls?”

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prayer is for everything

It was one of those busy days. The kids were running around like crazy — way too much energy pent up and not too much time being able to spend outside. After a bit the energy turned to just a bit of fighting which led to more and more chaos.

I tried telling them to stop it. To tone it down. To quit running.

They needed focus.

Almost immediately my mind remembered how the boys start their martial arts class — and it’s about focus. I’ll hear my Brennan and Caleb speaking the words, “focus your eyes, focus your mind, focus your body, sir.”

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Learning To Be Content

When I was a little girl, I would often dream of what my life might be like. I would be found day dreaming, wishing upon a star, hopeful that some of my dreams would come true. I didn’t not know the Lord at the time, and was not aware that someone else was in control.

I had a list of some of the most important things I wanted out of life. I kept it in a secret diary. I prayed to God they would come true, before I even new God was real.

  • I wanted a tall, dark haired husband who made lots of money so that I wouldn’t have to work.

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God Loves You – Even When You Don’t Feel Lovable

Do you ever have days when you need an extra reminder of God’s love? I know I need reminders often. I wake up in a mood that doesn’t improve, and I just don’t feel very lovable.

It’s like that isn’t it? We fail to feel loved when we don’t feel loveable.

The wonderful news is that God’s love does not depend on our mood or how lovable we feel. It doesn’t depend on what we do or say. His love never fails. We were reminded this past weekend of God’s love for us as we celebrated Jesus’ death and resurrection.

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