Written on
March 29, 2012 by
Amy in
Blog
I stood at the bathroom counter having the same argument with my daughter for what seemed like the 100th time. The conversation went something like this:
“But I don’t want to wear my hair that way!”
“Why not, it looks cute.”
I don’t care, I don’t like it.”
“I don’t care if you don’t like it; you are wearing it like this.”
“But, Why?!”
“Because you have pictures today and I want them to be cute.”
“But they are my pictures!”
“Actually they are my pictures of you because I’m paying for them.”
“Well I don’t care. I’m not wearing my hair like this!”
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It was June 7, 1998 and my just married honey, John Mark, and I were headed to our beautiful honeymoon location in the Poconos. We could not wait to see the deal that we found online. Ok, that is a dead give-away that this might get interesting. We were both underage to rent a car, but we needed to get to the “resort.” We had to hire a driver to take us there. We load up our suitcases and our giddy selves and head off to our honeymoon paradise. The driver was quiet for the most part and as we got closer to our destination, we began inquiring about our honeymoon spot.
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As the sun rises, my feet hit the floor and I stammer into the shower. How could it possibly be morning already? My body is tense, still feeling the weight of yesterday and already taking on the cares of the morning. As I stand beneath the warm water I pray, “Lord, give me grace for another day”.
And these days have been blurry lately. There seems to be no start or finish, rather just one continuous blob of “more to do”.
My daily routine begins as I prepare my youngest for school and head off to work. I love the church where I am privileged to work.
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He wants to go play with those best-ever-friends, again. It’s only been a day. “Can we please go play with them again, Mom? Please?”
And I heard myself saying something about ‘too much of a good thing’ and ‘not wearing out our welcome’ and maybe even something like ‘we’ll get tired of each other if we hang out too often’.
Seriously?
I should have retraced my steps, balancing out my words with just a bit of optimism, but I didn’t. The negative words hung in the air — suspended for a moment in time — then evaporated as the kids ran off to find something else to do.
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I walked in with an attitude every day. Every. Single. Day. I hated the class. None of my friends were in it. Not one person from my circle of comrades. The class next door had Kim and Cassie. Why wasn’t I placed in there?
I dreaded my 11th grade first period class so much I drug my feet each morning, often being tardy to school. My grandmother would always write me an excuse saying I wasn’t feeling well. She’d follow it up with, “Well, you weren’t feeling well when you realized you were going to be late for school, were you?”
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I hear everyone downstairs. They’re chatting and laughing as they eat homemade pizzas.
Not me.
I’m upstairs in the little boys’ room cleaning. I’m sorting duplos and blocks and little bricks and cars and organizing books by height. Their room was clean. I’m resorting, reorganizing, recleaning.
Sometimes I hide behind the mask of busy.
I’ll go from room to room to room looking for things to organize. Junk drawer, bucket of stuff by the dryer, desk drawers, school books, papers, and then starting over again.
Sort, throw, sort, label.
I can’t control everything.
This world, this temporary world, is simply not perfect.
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“Be joyful always.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16
It was early in the morning, right after I woke up, and I heard my kids laughing down the hall.
I tip-toed toward their rooms, wondering what was so funny.
Halfway there, I stopped.
(I didn’t want to interrupt because I didn’t want their laughter to end.)
A smile spread across my face as I stood there, hiding, listening. I lingered, soaking in the moment.
Hearing my kids laugh made me laugh.
I was filled with joy at their joy.
(I found out later they were laughing at their pet fish.)
But I’m the first to admit, my attitude isn’t always like that… filled with joy from being a mom.
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Rev and I are celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary today. It’s hard for me to believe. I can still relive the moment we met, our first date, our first kiss, and each and every milestone since.
We have a few do’s and don’ts that we’ve used over the years. We believe they have been helpful in not only having a marriage that lasts, but one that is happy and fun, too.
Our Top Ten Marriage Tips:
1. Laugh – We both love to laugh and we love to make each other laugh. Humor has gotten us through many of life’s difficult moments.
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