Fall is beautiful where I live. The velvety Blue Ridge Mountains have spun the color wheel and landed on warm yellows, oranges and reds.
I’m blessed to live in an area that enjoys all four seasons, and I enjoy watching them come and go.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
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Okay, I’m certain that statement makes me sound a little crazy, but trust me, it’s a personal object lesson in Faith. I am inclined to get agitated by the little things, e.g., misplaced keys, lost documents, items I just had my hands on. Oddly enough, the bigger things I am adept at managing. Trust me, when disaster rolls in, I’m your go-to girl. But it’s the little things, conversations I anticipate will be difficult, silly things that manage to get under my skin, waiting for information beyond my control, until I decided to get a handle on them, those lost things would have been my undoing.
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She reaches out weekly. Sometimes through email if we miss our hug at church. And when she asks how I am, I know she wants the honest truth no matter how long it takes me to get it all out. We don’t see each other as often as we’d like, but I know she lifts me up to Our Father in prayer often. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best kind of friend there is.
I trust her with my heart because she handles it with love and always lifts it up to Jesus for Him to take care of.
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I was raised in the church, my family attended services twice on Sundays, every Wednesday night and sometimes every night for a week. Our church was like a wonderful extended family and I loved the way it became a warm and comfortable social circle for me.
The center of that circle was the shared desire to serve God in all areas of our lives. We were taught to read our Bibles everyday, attend church as much as possible and spend time in prayer everyday. As a teen I can remember starting one Bible-reading system after another, marking my calendar with my assigned Bible passage to read that day.
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Seasons change. If I had it my way, I would forever live during Spring, where there is new birth and the promise of the warmth of Summer. But with each passing day, I see signs of Fall, as the leaves change color and are making their way to my driveway in record number. And although I don’t mind the Fall, I will turn a corner and walk straight into Winter. And with Winter comes storms. And when the storms come, you will find me inside, under a blanket, sipping a hot cup of cocoa and enjoying a warm fire. I will do everything within my power to avoid a storm.
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One of my dearest friends was on the platform and one sentence she said in her message changed my life.
“Sometimes you have to do it scared.”
Almost every time I have said yes to God I’ve had to do it scared.
Scared of the “what if’s.”
What if I’m wrong?
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I totally mess everything up?
What if this is more than I can handle?
During my last two pregnancies I wasn’t a happy pregnant person.
In fact, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.
I fell into a pit of depression and sadness.
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Sometimes you don’t know why the Lord is calling you to read a particular book in the bible. In recent months I felt like God wanted me to know the gospel from John – like a pro! Not sure if I am a professional anything, maybe with God’s grace and mercy I am a decent writer but I am not a theologian or bible scholar by any means! But God is good. He speaks to everyone through his Word, especially those who seek after him with their whole heart (Jeremiah 29-13, You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.)
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I remember as a child waiting in anticipation for my birthday or for Christmas to arrive. Time moved slowly and the waiting dragged on forever.
As an adult, that time moves much more quickly. It seems like Christmas is around the corner again before last year’s gifts are put away. And birthdays…well, each one is not quite as exciting anymore. The anticipated wait doesn’t drag anymore. Now it flies by.
Waiting for the calendar page to turn—that’s not so hard. Unless time ends, one month will flow into the next, guaranteed.
But waiting on God? It. Is. Hard. Some days waiting on God feels impossible.
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