And so it begins. This season of busyness.
There are many days when I feel overwhelmed. As a wife, mom, full-time worker, minister and friend, there are many things competing for my time and attention. And especially during the holidays, my life tends to get more hectic and overwhelming. In a season when I am called to give thanks, to reflect on the beauty of the Lord and be reminded of the most precious gift that has been given to me, I am distracted. As if I weren’t busy enough. Now there is decorating, shopping, wrapping, baking, parties and the list goes on.
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I was never a nervous or controlling person growing up. I always thought of myself as pretty relaxed and down to earth. Then I got married and had children.
When my children were small, I remember how every little thing concerning their young lives was such a huge deal. My life became rigorous and scheduled, as opposed to care free and spontaneous. As my children grew older, I became a very anxious and controlling person. It was not something I ever expected to be, it just was. I remember standing in the doorway of the bathroom as my daughter brushed her hair and got ready for school to “make sure she did it right”.
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I have been reflecting on God’s goodness over the past couple of months. There are so many ways that He has blessed, encouraged, brought healing, provision, strength, hope and joy to my life. In all of these areas, I have seen His immeasurable goodness towards me and I am so grateful.
Over the last couple of days I have been meditating on this Psalm:
Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8 NIV)
I don’t just want to SEE the goodness of the Lord, but I want to TASTE it!
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Are you successful? By what means do you measure your success? How do you define it? The dictionary defines success in this way:
• the attainment of popularity or profit: the success of his play.
• a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity: I must make a success of my business.
• archaic the outcome of an undertaking, specified as achieving or failing to achieve its aims: the good or ill success of their maritime enterprises.
Recently a wonderful friend was praying for me. As she prayed, she asked the Lord to help me to not put unrealistic expectations on myself.
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I have been meditating on this verse over the last couple of weeks:
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:33-NLT)
I posted a Facebook status a while back that said, “I may not have everything I want, but I always have everything that I need”. As I’ve reflected back on that statement, I’ve had to ask myself how many of the blessings I’ve received lately have been as a result of a heart that is fully seeking Him, or how much of it is simply as a result of grace.
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I’ve struggled most of my life with feelings of unworthiness and rejection. And although I’ve grown leaps and bounds in this area over the last several years, every now and then these feelings rear their ugly head.
I can never really pinpoint an absolute trigger, so I do what the Word says to do and begin to take every thought captive…
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:5)
Most of the time, this will work. I search the Word of God for His thoughts towards me to counter the negative thoughts in my mind, and then the enemy flees.
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I have been walking through an intense season of trust over the last year. My husband was laid off from a very well-paying construction job last June. It threw our already troubled finances into a tail spin. On top of all of that, we were in the process of losing our home. We tried for a year in every way imaginable to work with our mortgage company so that we could keep our home. In the end, we had no other choice but to short sale in order to avoid foreclosure. As we sat last week and signed the papers, I did not really feel anything except numbness.
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A couple of days ago, I was preparing to leave for work and my 7-year old son was the only person awake in the house besides me. After I got ready to go, I went and talked with him for a few minutes, got his breakfast, and settled him in with a cartoon. I explained to him that daddy was awake in bed and that he could go and get him if he needed to. As I kissed him goodbye, grabbed my computer bag, and turned to head towards the door, I heard him ask, “But Mommy, who’s in charge”? I explained to him that since he was the only person that was up in the house at the moment, that he was in charge.
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