Searching For Significance

I’ve struggled most of my life with feelings of unworthiness and rejection. And although I’ve grown leaps and bounds in this area over the last several years, every now and then these feelings rear their ugly head.

I can never really pinpoint an absolute trigger, so I do what the Word says to do and begin to take every thought captive…

casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Most of the time, this will work. I search the Word of God for His thoughts towards me to counter the negative thoughts in my mind, and then the enemy flees.

But, there are days when the grip of him who comes to kill, steal and destroy is so strong, that it’s hard to shake these feelings. As a woman who gives so much of her time to others, I desire to be needed. I long to be told that I am doing a good job. I want to be invited to the party and be called upon by others in their times of need. These desires are not wrong. They are part of our human  nature. Yet, the Word of God reminds me that I must not seek out the praises of man.

How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God? (John 5:44)

I am realizing that these feelings of rejection and unworthiness stem from a deeply rooted desire to be loved, accepted and noticed by others. Do I mean to have these feelings? No. But my eyes have been opened to the fact that I still have pain from my past. I have unresolved hurt that has attached itself to the root system of my heart and will not let go. I have been saved for over 20 years, but I am still walking out my salvation in this area. I am still learning to embrace the promises of God for ME. I am still learning to accept His never-ending love for ME, and that through Him, I am worthy and significant in the Kingdom of God.

I want to know that I matter, that I have a role to play in this, the greatest story ever told. But my significance cannot come from man’s lips. My significance must come from God and God alone. When I am having overwhelming feelings of rejection and unworthiness, I turn to the One who says:  “You are loved. You are worthy. You are accepted. You matter.” The very God of the universe loves me, desires me, accepts me and thinks about me all the time. I am significant.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? (Psalm 8:3-4)

9 Responses to Searching For Significance
  1. Lea
    September 19, 2010 | 7:08 am

    Oh, Barbie, what a beautiful post. Certainly ministered to me this Sunday morning. Satan will take anything he can to rob us of our joy, but isn’t it awesome that we serve a God that gives us an unspeakable joy that Satan cannot alter. Blessings to you and never forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by the one true God.
    Hugs to you!

  2. Carla
    September 19, 2010 | 8:50 am

    Thanks for sharing this Barbie….You are precious!

  3. Cindy Aguilar
    September 19, 2010 | 9:40 am

    Thanks for always being so transparent with me, your reader and friend. I pray that the Lord helps you to see yourself as He sees you! You are truly a beauty to behold and worth loving well!
    I love you friend,

  4. Jennifer
    September 19, 2010 | 11:53 am

    Have you read the “Search for Significance” book by Robert McGee? I recently read it and you’ve hit on the main topic of this book in your post. It’s a great read and goes in depth to what you’ve touched on. I would recommend it to anyone- even those who have been Christians for years. It mentions in the preface of the book that many who have read it say that they have been Christians a long time but “met God” when they read this book… once you read it, you understand exactly what that means. I have been a Christian since my teen years, but I too “met God” in in my journey through the book and it has made an undeniable, remarkable change in my life. I struggled with the exact issues you’ve mentioned and I have the most awesome peace now it’s almost unbelievable until your here and feel it for yourself.

    Thanks for the post. We all need to be reminded of God’s never ending, unconditional love.

    God Bless!

  5. Carolyn
    September 19, 2010 | 4:27 pm

    Thank you Barbie, just a wonderful
    Post to start off my day.
    The verse you said about “craving the praise of God” has really stirred my heart to thinking about how my desire for praise lines up with this scripture- thank you, have a lovely day!

  6. Jeanine
    September 20, 2010 | 8:32 am

    That was a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your heart.
    Peace and blessings to your day.

  7. Mel's World with Melissa Mashburn
    September 20, 2010 | 4:25 pm

    Yes, Yes, Yes!!!! I’m shouting from the top of my lungs on top of my chair…oh my word Barbie, you have no idea how much this resonated with me.

    I loved this: “I want to know that I matter, that I have a role to play in this, the greatest story ever told. But my significance cannot come from man’s lips. My significance must come from God and God alone.”

    Thank you dear friend for sharing your heart while clearing guiding us back to Him and His word!

    Simply beautiful…
    Melissa 🙂

  8. Leah
    September 21, 2010 | 7:14 pm

    Wonderful reminder! Thank you.

  9. Searching For Significance
    April 28, 2011 | 11:13 pm

    […] the obedience of Christ, (2 Corinthians 10:5)Most of the time, this will work. To read more, click here.  Please leave me a comment and let me know that you […]