We drag out the buried box. The one wrapped in duct tape from years past. I remember joy bursting as my husband and I scraped enough money to buy this tree as newlyweds.
Now, it seems old. Skimpy. Worn thin and I scold myself quietly for not yet buying another or picking fresh. But my son, the four year-old bouncing out of sheer anticipation, sees the promise of beauty and I force myself to emulate his excitement.
I’ve gotten good at assembly and my boy is eager to learn the process. As I go through the motions, I hear him counting.
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Every year we read the Christmas story and pray before anyone opens a single gift. Reluctantly, I admit that was the depth of our Christmas tradition. I spent countless hours, months before Christmas, turning pages of retail, seeking the best price for whatever items I wanted to buy. Yet, only about 15 minutes reading the Christmas story before we opened the gifts. For as long as I can remember, Christmas day was all about opening presents.
Last year, almost to the day, I remember mostly all the presents had been purchased. I was worn out from the shopping, and growing even more weary from the “I wants” and “Can I have’s.”
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Life changes…God does not.
Christmas family traditions bring smiles and warm memories of time spent together. For some, it’s hot chocolate by the fireplace and smiles as their children open gifts. For others, it’s the singing of familiar Christmas carols.
But for some, the Christmas season not only brings sadness, but also images of the joy and happiness everyone else is experiencing. Behind warm smiles are empty hearts and aching souls. Maybe that someone is you.
Life changes.
Children grow older. They lose interest in family traditions or move away.
Hardships come and take over all we wish we could do.
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It’s the perfect place to pray. In the shower, that is.
With a husband, three little girls, and a barky Schnauzer, there isn’t always a whole lot of alone time at my house. So a shower can provide at least a few quiet minutes all to myself.
It has other prime prayer spot benefits, as well. Tears and runny mascara can be washed away quickly. Soft sobs are muffled by the sound of both water and exhaust fan running. And there, standing literally naked before the Lord, you are able to pour out all of your hurts, fears, and doubts without hesitation.
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Written on
November 21, 2012 by
Carol in
Blog
In a cabin on the edge of the Smoky Mountains, she sits together at a table with her parents and children. In her eyes are strength and beauty, but behind them there is brokenness and despair.
Her one true love left the earth too soon and the thought of going through the holidays without him is almost too much. In the quiet of her mind, she has relived the entire last Thanksgiving – the meal, the conversations, the games played and even the private laughs they shared when no one else was around.
She isn’t alone. There are many today who will take this day one breath at a time.
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The lyrics to this song spoke to me this weekend. I know this never happens to you, but I was aching for praise. Just wishing for a few words of affirmation. And I began to think that if nobody cares enough to say something, I might just quit. Even though I love what I do.
Enter this song and these words and a rush of God-speak to my heart.
Riches I heed not nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
God’s praise is not empty. It goes beyond a mere complement to the even greater realm of forever rewards.
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Tonight as I was preparing to start a load of laundry (the never-ending saga), our power went out. Although we only lost power for a few moments, I was reminded of a night a couple of years ago when we experienced a power outage that lasted for over an hour.
Whenever the power would go out in previous years, my children would tend to get fearful. They didn’t like that they could not see, and would always scramble around looking for flash lights. But since it was not yet completely dark outside on this particular night, they were able to see enough to find their way around.
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He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10a NIV
Sometimes I just don’t hear Him. I know He’s there. But for reasons unknown to me, He’s choosing to remain silent.
I wonder if I’ve done something.
I wonder if He’s testing me.
And…I wonder if, for now, the silence is okay.
Maybe there’s nothing more to it than knowing God is always with me, even when I don’t hear Him and can’t feel Him.
I keep talking to Him and spending time in His Word, and I know He hears me.
Maybe I’m like a child who learns to trust her mom is there when she calls to her.
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