life on our tiptoes

He wants to go play with those best-ever-friends, again. It’s only been a day. “Can we please go play with them again, Mom? Please?”

And I heard myself saying something about ‘too much of a good thing’ and ‘not wearing out our welcome’ and maybe even something like ‘we’ll get tired of each other if we hang out too often’.

Seriously?

I should have retraced my steps, balancing out my words with just a bit of optimism, but I didn’t. The negative words hung in the air — suspended for a moment in time — then evaporated as the kids ran off to find something else to do.

Then I thought back to similar words spoken to a friend, back in high school. It was the first time he had ever called me {I knew he had recently broken up with his girlfriend} but after seeing the look my parents exchanged, I carefully said “you probably shouldn’t call me too often…..or we won’t have anything to talk about”. Yeah, he got the point.

But did I have to say it like that?

Why must I imagine things too good to be true? Why do I pussyfoot around, afraid I’ll stay too long or say too much? Why do I always expect something to go awry? Why do relationships seem so fragile, something to never fully enjoy?

I fear the seeming inevitability that good things will always come to an end.

And I live life on tiptoe. What a realization.

But Jesus speaks of abundant life, of promises kept, of things working out well.

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 KJV

“Every one of you knows in his heart and soul that the Lord your God has given you all the good things that he promised. Every promise he made has been kept; not one has failed.” Joshua 23:14 Good News

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 ESV

Jesus, while here on earth, spent more time with His friends than I’ll ever dream of and didn’t expect them to tire of Him. He loved them. Unfailingly. Unconditionally. He knew heaven wasn’t a bit too good to be true. He knew He needed as much time with His disciples as possible, to help them see the Father and to help them understand true salvation. He knew relationships needed to be build of the strongest stuff possible. He believed that in the end, good would eventually win. He trusted in the power of GOD and lived life with purpose.

Not on tiptoe.

I want to live with more abandon. With more trust in goodness. With more freedom to love. With more purpose. With a firm step.

And next time my kids want to go back and play with their friends again, I’ll say yes, let’s do it. And you know, I bet our friends say “we missed you already” because that’s what friends do.