Do you ever question your calling? These passions that are bursting fully from your heart, yet you feel inadequate to run with them? I know I do.
As a mom, I often feel inadequate. In many ways, I am still learning to love and obey God. Yet, I have been given this enormous responsibility to teach my children to love and obey. How can I, an imperfect mom, show them how to love God will all of their heart, soul, mind and strength when I so often fall short?
As a wife, some days I feel as if I don’t measure up.
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Dear Mother,
God sees you. I needed to tell you that. Yes, I’m talking to you. Yes, you. God knows your hurts. He hears your quiet sobs in the night.
It stormed here last night. The rain fell, and my baby cried. I paced the floor between her bed and mine. The well-worn path needed nothing to illuminate the way. My heart led. That’s the way of things when your child is sick.
I wanted you to know there’ll be nights like this. There will be strings of nights like this. Each time you lay your body down, you’ll wonder, “Will I wake when she calls?”
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It was one of those busy days. The kids were running around like crazy — way too much energy pent up and not too much time being able to spend outside. After a bit the energy turned to just a bit of fighting which led to more and more chaos.
I tried telling them to stop it. To tone it down. To quit running.
They needed focus.
Almost immediately my mind remembered how the boys start their martial arts class — and it’s about focus. I’ll hear my Brennan and Caleb speaking the words, “focus your eyes, focus your mind, focus your body, sir.”
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When I was a little girl, I would often dream of what my life might be like. I would be found day dreaming, wishing upon a star, hopeful that some of my dreams would come true. I didn’t not know the Lord at the time, and was not aware that someone else was in control.
I had a list of some of the most important things I wanted out of life. I kept it in a secret diary. I prayed to God they would come true, before I even new God was real.
- I wanted a tall, dark haired husband who made lots of money so that I wouldn’t have to work.
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If you exercise or participate in any athletic activities, you know the importance of breathing to keep oxygen going to the mind and body. We don’t really think about breathing, we just do it. But during physical exertion, we can become so focused on the activity at hand, our breathing becomes shallow. We need the reminder to take deep breaths and keep breathing.
“Make sure you’re breathing!”
It was during this reminder when I realized I need to think about breathing at other times as well.
When the stress in life is mounting…
When nothing seems to be going the way I hoped…
When I feel alone…
When fear begins to grasp at me…
When the future looks bleak…
Be still, and know that I am God!
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Change. Some people thrive on it. They live for adventure. They get bored when things stay the same. Others just about lose their lunch from the motion sickness caused by even the tiniest of changes. I’m definitely more of the latter. If I’m all comfortable, then really, must we upset things?
My mom is always moving her furniture around. I never know from one visit to the next where things are going to be in her house. I remember going home during college and being frustrated as I tried to discover which drawer now held her silverware. Me? Once my furniture is in place, I’m pretty good – like forever.
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Written on
March 29, 2012 by
Amy in
Blog
I stood at the bathroom counter having the same argument with my daughter for what seemed like the 100th time. The conversation went something like this:
“But I don’t want to wear my hair that way!”
“Why not, it looks cute.”
I don’t care, I don’t like it.”
“I don’t care if you don’t like it; you are wearing it like this.”
“But, Why?!”
“Because you have pictures today and I want them to be cute.”
“But they are my pictures!”
“Actually they are my pictures of you because I’m paying for them.”
“Well I don’t care. I’m not wearing my hair like this!”
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It was June 7, 1998 and my just married honey, John Mark, and I were headed to our beautiful honeymoon location in the Poconos. We could not wait to see the deal that we found online. Ok, that is a dead give-away that this might get interesting. We were both underage to rent a car, but we needed to get to the “resort.” We had to hire a driver to take us there. We load up our suitcases and our giddy selves and head off to our honeymoon paradise. The driver was quiet for the most part and as we got closer to our destination, we began inquiring about our honeymoon spot.
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