Control Freak!

“Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7

I’ve had this condition most of my life. A condition that I am learning to live with. I desire to control things. Lots of things. Not just big things, but little things, important things, and not so important things. I try and give God a hand, all the time.

Hello. My name is Joanne and I’m a control freak.

From what my children wear, to who they will hang out with – where they will go to college, what they will eat, to what political party they will subscribe to. Day or night, no time is sacred for my controlling binges.

One thing I’ve learned is that people who need to control do so out of fear. I fear making the wrong decision. I fear my children getting hurt. I fear consequences.

As a mom, there are some things I need to be in control of, but there are more things that I need to let go of. Whenever I try to control everything I only seem to become stressed and anxious.

My oldest child is a Senior in high school this year. She’s trying to figure out where she wants to go to college. Being the control freak that I am, I am trying very hard not to help her and God out too much with this decision. I’m trying very hard not to have fear, but to surrender it all to the Lord and feel His peace.

Sometimes it’s a day to day, sometimes moment by moment experience. Thankfully, as a Christian, I want to grow in my walk with Him and know very well that Jesus doesn’t want me in the drivers seat on my life’s journey. He doesn’t even want me in the passenger seat. No matter where He leads, I still have to hold my tongue when I want to tell him to stop here or to speed up or stop.

I’m praying that in time, I will become a much better back seat driver.

4 Responses to Control Freak!
  1. holly christine
    April 28, 2009 | 5:27 am

    i agree that we try to control things out of fear…it is something i struggle with daily. no matter how many times God shows me He is in control, i still feel the need to help Him out. thank you for this.

  2. Shera
    April 28, 2009 | 11:37 am

    I love your thoughts today Joanne! It is so easy to be desperate to be in control all the time and realize too late that things simply work better if we stop and let God handle it! Thank you so much for sharing!

  3. Angela Nazworth
    April 29, 2009 | 7:57 pm

    Hi Joanne, my name is Angela and I too am a control freak! I really loved this post and struggling with this issue keeps coming back to my life…perhaps it is my “thorn” A few weeks ago I stated that I was controlled by the need to control (and I even am in the process of writing out my thoughts about losing control while thinking I was in control).

  4. Kathy S.
    April 30, 2009 | 11:15 am

    Hi, Joanne,
    It’s always encouraging to me to find other Sisters in Christ who are experiencing the same struggles I am! My Bible study group just had a discussion on being control freaks and perfectionists.
    I can also relate to your oldest being a senior. My oldest daughter is a senior this year and I am such a mess of contrary emotions!! One minute excited for her and all the possibilities the future holds – and the next minute terrified for the same reason. Thankfully, as a Christian, I get frequent reminders that it’s really not my job to worry over all those unknown things in my daughter’s future – God can do a much a better job of it if I let Him!