“When Solomon had finished all these prayers and supplications to the LORD, he rose from before the altar of the LORD, where he had been kneeling with his hands spread out toward heaven.” 1 Kings 8:54
I’ve noticed lately (though I’ve known for years) that I seem to talk to God more than pray to Him. It wasn’t always like this. Before marriage and kids I was a pray-er. A continuous communor with Jesus. But life got busy and my alone times got less and less until now it seems I throw out Twitter-like conversations, a status update with my God.
“Hey God, how’s it going this morning? I’m stressed and overwhelmed. Oh yeah, I need to pray about this and that and so and so is sick…”
Now I know prayer is talking to God, but that’s not the kind of prayer I’m talking about. While I love being able to chat and strike up a conversation (or a good rant) with the creator of the Universe and His son, I know that’s only one level of prayer. The other, more deeper level of prayer, the one where you get on your face and wrestle with things in the spiritual realm is what I’m talking about today.
I hear myself telling people I’ll pray for them or “I’ll pray about it,” but do I really, I mean really pray about it. Yes and No. I do offer up a prayer or think about it in a prayerful way, but do I really wrestle with it? Most times no, unless of course it’s a life alerting decision or life or death situation. But why do I do that? And is there anyone else out there that does the same thing?
I think it’s because I’m a doer. Praying just doesn’t seem like it does anything, but I know it does. It doesn’t seem as active as talking and planning and hashing things out. But it’s something I want to change. I think by praying, really praying, not just talking about praying, that I’ll catch a glimpse of the intimacy I desire. That I won’t be on the outside of the “circle” only wishing I was in with the “in crowd” the ones who seem to connect on a deeper level with the Lord because they spend time in his presence, really praying.
That’s what I desire. But I also know God loves me despite my lack or “prayer” and prayer is just one means of intimacy with the Lord. I also know that He’s waiting, anxiously to hear me when I do come to sit or kneel or fall on my face in his presence.
Until then, He’s always watching and checking for status updates!
That pretty much sums up my prayer life too…”Twitter” like! It seems hard to find the time or know what to say other than the conversational short prayers that I have. Nice to know I’m not the only one.