What’s Your Secret?

Everyone has secrets. Even secrets from spouses. As much as I share with my husband – and it’s a lot – he still doesn’t know every thought, idea, wish and dream that swims around in my head. Even teenage “besties” (oh how I wish only teenagers used that term) don’t disclose 100%. Just not possible.

No one really reads mind, thank goodness and knows all of another’s thoughts, feelings, hopes & dreams. Can we can even go so far as to say no one knows every aspect of themselves either? That we don’t even really completely know ourselves?

Ever have someone tell you something they’ve observed in you that surprised you? We have to admit that others often see aspects of us that we simply don’t see and that even seems completely foreign to us when we hear it.

In psychology, these ideas are illustrated through the Johari Window.


The purpose of the Johari Window involves categorizing conscious and subconscious areas of our lives with the idea of self discovery and finding out what we don’t yet know about ourselves. While considering the Johari Window and its purpose, also consider the truth of Psalm 44:21.

“God knows the secrets of every heart.”

Because of this verse, I would draw a “God circle” around the Johari Window to encompass what He knows about each one of us… everything.

What assurances can we gain from this? He knows our fears, weaknesses, strengths, dreams & aspirations. He knows the long-forgotten events – big & small – that shaped our lives. He knows what others think & feel about us, and He even knows what we don’t even realize there is to know about ourselves.

Whatever has happened, is happening or will happen, He knows & loves us. Some of these things will bless Him, others not. Yes, He knows the depths of our hearts (Psalm 44:20-21), the secrets deep within that even we do not know.

So, venture on to self-discovery if you’d like, but can I suggest another avenue? Get closer to Jesus. Get closer to the One who knows the secrets of your heart even better than you do. Get to know Him better than you know yourself because He will always know you better than You know yourself.

Somehow I feel more peace when I focus on God-awareness over self-awareness because I know He will perfectly shape my awareness if I let Him. He’ll take me from a focus on self to a focus on Him.

Romans 12:3 says to avoid thinking too much of ourselves but to instead let the measure of faith we’re given guide our thinking. We know faith comes by hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17), so let the truth of His Word give you faith to guide your thoughts and transform your awareness of Him. And in that awareness, you’ll soon discover that you can know yourself far better through Him than through any efforts of self-discovery.

12 Responses to What’s Your Secret?
  1. Mark Allman
    October 24, 2013 | 2:37 pm

    To be known by someone; that someone who knows all of your good traits and all of your bad; who knows what you do well and what you dont do well with; and to have that person still love you knowing all of the good the bad and the ugly is freeing. Even if only God knows all of your secrets to have that one person who knows the most and still loves you is a blessing.

    I like your idea about changing the focus off ourselves and putting it on God. That I would do this better.

    • Kari Scare
      October 25, 2013 | 6:51 am

      It is definitely freeing, Mark. Makes me brave and gives me courage to go ahead and try and do and be, knowing I can make mistakes and still be accepted & loved. I, too, need more focus on God and less on myself. That, my friend, is the sanctification process.

  2. Dan Black
    October 27, 2013 | 11:25 pm

    Hello Kari,

    Knowing that God knows everything about us is freeing because it allows us to confidently go to him with any problem or issue. We can go to Him and allow Him to change us from the inside out. Great thoughts!

    • Kari Scare
      October 28, 2013 | 6:50 pm

      Very true, Dan. We don’t have to hide from Him (not that we could if we tried). I just like the idea that I don’t have to “try” to be transparent with Him. He knows me better than I know me.

  3. Melanie Wilson
    October 28, 2013 | 6:39 pm

    Kari, I just love your encouragement to get to know Jesus rather than focusing on self-discovery. I remember Sheila Walsh saying at a Women of Faith conference that while we can’t stand the thought of everyone knowing everything we’ve ever said and done, Jesus knows and loves us anyway. How can we not want to spend time with Him?

    • Kari Scare
      October 28, 2013 | 6:51 pm

      So true, Melanie. We don’t have to try to hide anything or pretend. All that energy can be saved for just hanging out with Him.

  4. Betty Draper
    October 28, 2013 | 7:51 pm

    What a challenge Kari…the battle line is so different when using our energy to know Jesus better. Everybody I meet wants to know themselves better, me included. We such a self focus people…which is why we get stiff necked so often. Great post Kari.

    • Kari Scare
      October 29, 2013 | 1:21 pm

      Thanks Betty. You’re right, we seem to be on this quest to know ourselves better. This is off track. The way to knowing self better is to know God better. Increased focus on Him does amazing things for our lives.

  5. Caleb Suko
    October 29, 2013 | 11:36 am

    Psalm 139 has always been a great comfort to me in understanding that God knows me better than I know myself, he even knows a word before it is on my tongue!

    • Kari Scare
      November 1, 2013 | 8:41 am

      Knowing that God knows me so intimately really provides motivation to know Him more. It seems that whatever the struggle, knowing God more is the answer.

  6. Loren Pinilis
    November 5, 2013 | 3:38 pm

    Oftentimes my prayer has been that God would show me the truth – that I would see myself accurately. I want to see me the way he sees me.

    • Kari Scare
      November 7, 2013 | 2:20 pm

      Well said, Loren. We would all do well to include this focus in our prayers.