The Best Lesson, I Hated Most

As my fingers start to move across the keyboard, my eyes are filled with tears but there’s still a smile on my face. That’s what happens when I think about my mom.

It’s been five years since I’ve been able to celebrate Mother’s Day with her, and I still miss her like crazy.

My mom, like so many moms, was chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, laundress, counselor, painter (walls as well as canvas), gardener, nurse, teacher, party planner, nutritionist, beautician, and decorator. She was also a fabulous hostess, a voracious reader, and a talented seamstress. She could even shoot straight and scare away those critters brave enough to invade her garden and munch on her labors.

She was a Proverbs 31 woman.

I want to tell you about the best lesson my mother ever taught me, and the one I hated most.

It wasn’t a one time . . . teach, learn, move on kind of lesson.

Each time I told her about a disagreement I’d had with someone she would ask, “Why do you think they said or did that? What could you have said or done differently?”

Ooh, how I hated those question.

Why couldn’t she just agree with me?
Why couldn’t she just take my side?
Why couldn’t she just support me?

Why?

Because she loved me enough to invest in my future.

Being a mom is hard work.

I’m sure there were times when my mom agreed with me. I promise you, it would have been easier to simply support me, agree with my frustration, and stand with me in battle.

But she was teaching. She knew it was more important to teach me about relationships than to make me happy.

Even when it’s hard, moms are called to teach, influence, and invest in their children’s futures.

My mom knew it was more important for me to know how to really listen to people, to understand other points of view, and to be kind. She wanted me to care more about relationships than about being right.

As much as I hated it, she was right. Every time I stop during a disagreement, take a deep breath and listen, really listen; or make the effort to understand a point of view other than my own . . . I hear my mother’s voice, “Why do you think? and What could you have said or done?”

Keep doing the hard work mom.

For those of you in the thick of parenting, you know who you are . . . the ones with non-sleeping newborns, busy toddlers, threenagers, tweens, teens or somewhere in between. Hang in there.

It’s hard, but it’s important. You’re investing.

So:

When it would be easier to just be your child’s friend . . . do the hard work.
When it would be easier to give up or give in . . . do the hard work.
When your child declares you the meanest mom on the planet . . . do the hard work.

Even if they never appreciate it . . . do the hard work.

It’s our calling. I’m so glad I was blessed with a godly mom who honored her calling.

My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, their counsel will lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up, they will advise you. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life. Proverbs 6:20-23