An Introvert Needs Time Alone

Hear the sound of my life — let it be a sweet, sweet sound. The worship song that my eldest beauty left for me to hear plays these words in the background while I shuffle around the empty kitchen. It doesn’t take much. Just a moment of quiet and these words to bring me to a place of surrender. I desire to live well for the Master.

I reflect back on the last few days of this week, even the last few hours of this day. My sound was far from sweet. I allowed frustration to replace the words I speak to my husband and children, words that should be filled with grace. I find myself weary in body and soul, in a negative state of mind. Grumbles of ungratefulness and complaints spilling out, instead of thanks.

I know this place I am in. I also know what it takes to come out of it — time alone.

I am an introvert. I did not always know this, but as an introvert it means I am re-energized when I am alone. As a homeschooling mama, I am hardly ever alone.

In the book, How We Love Our Kids, I learn:

Introverts can become anxious when drained of energy from activities and interactions, gain energy from private times and need space to be alone.

I express my need for space to my family. Through dialogue, they have come to understand this time I crave is time I need. When I have had it, it helps me be the best wife and mama to them that I can be.

God continues to use motherhood to refine me. Even when all I have to offer is what is left of me, He welcomes me. I sit alone at His feet, and I am refilled. In His Presence the dross is removed, and He draws out what is best of me. I receive His strength and grace to walk in a manner worthy of His call. In His Presence there is fullness of joy. Where there is joy, there is strength. (Col 1:9, Neh 8:10, Ps 16:11 NASV)

Life does not always allow immediate time alone to recharge when I feel the need. So, I must look for God in the simple, seemingly mundane tasks, and purpose to “mean every act for His glory and supplement those times by a thousand thought-prayers as I go about the job of living.” A.W. Tozer.

Through understanding the ways in which God works, may we live well for the Master. As we learn more and more how God works, may we learn how to do our work and have the strength to stick it out over the long haul — not the grim strength of gritting our teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us.  (Colosians 1:9-12 MSG Adapted)