An Introvert Needs Time Alone

Hear the sound of my life — let it be a sweet, sweet sound.Β The worship song that my eldest beauty left for me to hear plays these words in the background while I shuffle around the empty kitchen. It doesn’t take much. Just a moment of quiet and these words to bring me to a place of surrender. I desire to live well for the Master.

I reflect back on the last few days of this week, even the last few hours of this day. My sound was far from sweet. I allowed frustration to replace the words I speak to my husband and children, words that should be filled with grace. I find myself weary in body and soul, in a negative state of mind. Grumbles of ungratefulness and complaints spilling out, instead of thanks.

I know this place I am in. I also know what it takes to come out of it — time alone.

I am an introvert. I did not always know this, but as an introvert it means I am re-energized when I am alone. As a homeschooling mama, I am hardly ever alone.

In the book, How We Love Our Kids, I learn:

Introverts can become anxious when drained of energy from activities and interactions, gain energy from private times and need space to be alone.

I express my need for space to my family. Through dialogue, they have come to understand this time I crave is time I need. When I have had it, it helps me be the best wife and mama to them that I can be.

God continues to use motherhood to refine me. Even when all I have to offer is what is left of me, He welcomes me. I sit alone at His feet, and I am refilled. In His Presence the dross is removed, and He draws out what is best of me. I receive His strength and grace to walk in a manner worthy of His call. In His Presence there is fullness of joy. Where there is joy, there is strength. (Col 1:9, Neh 8:10, Ps 16:11 NASV)

Life does not always allow immediate time alone to recharge when I feel the need. So, I must look for God in the simple, seemingly mundane tasks, and purpose to “mean every act for His glory and supplement those times by a thousand thought-prayers as I go about the job of living.” A.W. Tozer.

Through understanding the ways in which God works, may we live well for the Master. As we learn more and more how God works, may we learn how to do our work and have the strength to stick it out over the long haul — not the grim strength of gritting our teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us. Β (Colosians 1:9-12 MSG Adapted)


15 Responses to An Introvert Needs Time Alone
  1. Mary Beth
    September 4, 2012 | 9:40 am

    It’s funny, I’m definitely an extravert. But I also really enjoy my time alone. I wouldn’t say I “need” it, but I’ve come to love it!

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 4, 2012 | 4:34 pm

      Mary Beth,

      Almost everyone in my family, except for my pre-teen, is an extrovert. The vast difference is extroverts get energy from being with people and introverts get energy from being alone. But it doesn’t mean we don’t actually like people πŸ™‚

      I actually like my people much better after I’ve had time to recharge πŸ™‚

  2. Laura
    September 4, 2012 | 11:15 am

    I understand! I’m an introverted homeschooling mother too and NEED time alone or I’ll go batty. My husband doesn’t always get it. But we’re learning! Thanks for the words of encouragement and just knowing I’m not the only one.

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 4, 2012 | 4:37 pm


      Last week, I went “batty” πŸ™‚ My husband and family are learning, too. They are all extroverts, except for one. Just the fact I know I can get some time alone and feel better — when I go a little “batty” helps me get through the busy homeschool days πŸ™‚

      Thanks for you encouragement, too πŸ™‚ Blessings to you!

  3. Mandy
    September 4, 2012 | 12:07 pm

    This was music to my ears, Michele-Lyn! Not only does it remind me that this need is who I am, it also reminds me to make sure I fit that in so that I can be a good wife and mama! Thanks:)

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 4, 2012 | 4:38 pm


      Do you know how often I felt like I was failing miserably, and felt like I was suffocating as a wife and mama? So many more times than I care to admit. Understand this need for “alone time” has been so liberating and strengthening.

      Thanks for your sweet comment πŸ™‚

  4. Beth
    September 4, 2012 | 9:43 pm

    I’m glad you’re highlighting this here, Michele-Lyn. I learned this the hard way in my marriage, since I craved a certain amount of time alone each day. My hubby didn’t “get” that and it created some tension, until I communicated that it was about my wiring and not about “him.” πŸ™‚ Great post!

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 7, 2012 | 9:35 am


      Making sure that my family knows that my need for time alone isn’t because I don’t want to be with them, but so I can be the best I can when I am with them, is most important in this.

      I completely understand πŸ™‚ I am so glad you shared your heart.

      Blessings to you.

  5. Nikki
    September 4, 2012 | 10:04 pm

    So I’m not the only one… Oh friend. I am the epitome of introvert. And yet I find myself recharged by your words here while I sit alone in my favorite thinking space πŸ˜‰

    and thank you for that Colosians in the Message. I hadn’t read it in that version yet. what a gift!!

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 7, 2012 | 3:47 pm


      I think the reason we feel we are alone in this introversion is because only 30% of people are introverts πŸ™‚ but it seems like 90% of bloggers are πŸ™‚

      Thank you for your love, dear friend.

  6. Amanda
    September 5, 2012 | 12:09 am

    Hi Michelle! I am SO an introvert too. Loved hearing this from a homeschooling mom’s perspective and appreciate your honesty. Also loved that Tozer quote! xo

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 7, 2012 | 3:49 pm


      Oh, this is a sweet comment. Before I knew that the some of my frustration I had came from not having time to recharge — it helped me homeschool so much better πŸ™‚

      And I love A.W. Tozer. Have you read any of his books?

  7. Laura Rath
    September 5, 2012 | 6:28 pm

    Oh yes, some time of solitude definitely helps me recharge!

    • Michele-Lyn
      September 7, 2012 | 3:50 pm


      Ah.. I could use some time to recharge right now πŸ™‚ I hope you get your fill also!

      Blessings πŸ™‚

  8. Barbie
    September 10, 2012 | 7:48 pm

    When I was younger, and even when I was first married, I was an extrovert, the life of the party. Nowadays, I crave solitude, probably because I do not get much alone time. I sense myself becoming anxious at the thought of an overcrowded calendar. This is where I lean in just a little closer and abiding even deeper.