I stepped out of the clothing store with my bags and into the bright sunshine of the day. My hand shading my eyes, I scanned the parking lot for the car, because as usual I had forgotten where it was parked. The longer I stood there the more uncomfortable I was becoming. I knew that my husband was sitting out there somewhere among the hundreds of vehicles watching me and probably getting a pretty good chuckle out of it! How many times have I done this? I am directionally challenged and even need to be pointed in the right direction when I step out of a store in a mall! He loved to tease me about my lack of car placement memory.
When my eyes finally met his, sure enough, there he was grinning from ear to ear! I made my way to our car and as I closed the car door I heard him say these words,
“When I saw you standing there, it took me back to our high school days when I used to watch you come down the school hallway toward me. You are so beautiful!”
My heart did a flip-flop, as I had to quickly correct my thinking about what he was thinking!
This morning as I remember that day in the parking lot I smile, because I have been through the same scenario many times over the years, but not always with my husband. Most often it happens between God and me. I just do not GET how much He loves me!
I have a journal entry from when my two boys were little. I was active in more ministry jobs than anyone should ever say “yes” to, but I had been ignoring God in the middle of it all. I was asking Him to help my family and to give me ideas for women’s Bible studies and things like that, but we were spending no quality time together. So this led to guilt and depression and of course to the belief that God was sitting out there somewhere frowning at me. I felt angry, sorry, alone and crowded all at the same time. Nothing would console me. Not more chocolate, coffee, time alone in a long hot bath, nothing. My journal reads…
“I have been down this road way too many times and God knows that, so how could I ask forgiveness? My shame is keeping me from Him because I do not deserve Him. I am such a mess. I know He will forgive me and that makes me feel even worse!
Now suddenly in the last few hours I am hearing Him whisper to me, “I love you, just come to me please.”
Just when I am thinking and feeling that all is hopeless He is calling me to Him. Why? Has He no pride? I haven’t even asked for forgiveness yet. Doesn’t He want me to beg and plead? He is offering me mercy before I even ask for it, I do not get His love me!”
God did not make me ask for forgiveness, I did not need to grovel or pay for my crime of neglecting Him. He was not unhappy with me at all! Right in the middle of my misery and blind wandering, He was holding out His mercy to me, even before I asked for it! God was smiling at me and loving me.
“He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing!” (Zephaniah 3:17b)
He is smiling at you today! God knows you. He knows what all you are juggling. He likes you more than you think He does. When the craziness of life begins to overwhelm you and the kids are pulling at you for attention 24/7, God is there and He understands. All you need to do is look up and smile back.
Susie Klein is a 50-something California woman who embraces freedom in life and has been married to the love of her life for 33 years, raised two sons and is currently enjoying being a mother-in-law because now she is not the only “girl” in the family at last! After over 25 years in vocational ministry she is now going after her dream of being a writer. Visit Susie at her blog, Recovering Church Lady.
Susie, this is beautiful. And isn’t it beautiful how are husbands can sometimes remind us of God’s perspective (without even realizing it!). The verse from Zephaniah is one of my favorites…He quiets us with His love. Oh how we need to be quieted with His amazing, all consuming love! Thanks for the 5 minute Devo! Dawn @ Beneath The Surface
Dawn, Yes our Hubbies often show us parts of God’s character. It was fun to write about that incident and then quietly watch him read it this morning, got a little smile!! Thanx for commenting!
Thank you for that Susie. It has been a busier season then I think I have ever experienced with a newborn, a toddler, and being a full time student. I often feel guilty about asking God for anything if I haven’t spent time with him. You’re story was a good reminder of how sweet our God is and how he is with us every step.
Hi Savannah, you are in the thick of it. I really believe that giving a toddler a bath and cleaning the kitchen floor for the 3rd time in one day is worship towards the loving God who sees it all!
Thank you for sharing,it so encouraging to know someone shares my same struggles.
Carol, isn’t it so easy to think we don’t deserve His love, when His love has nothing to do with what we deserve? We can be so silly. Hehe. Thanks for the comment!
I love, love, love this! What true truth about the heart of God towards us. And so refreshingly honest.
Thank you Crystal, just imagine what other amazing truths we haven’t even had a taste of yet!
I think my God is smiling but I also after pondering, I tend to think he’s passive toward me. I know he comes through for me everyday but I tend to be like the other son, not the prodigal one. “Hey! What about me? When am I going to get my miracle.” I’ve sown towards so many things and people and I’m still here waiting for a breakthrough. Sigh.” Then I break into blaming myself that God can’t help me. See I’m seriously messed up. I think my experience with church has screwed up my view of God.
Hi Traci, I am learning that our frustration can be the catalyst and sign that we are on the verge of something brand new with God. The relationship has to be changed up and you could be just one thought or one revelation from a whole new way of seeing Him! Scary but good place to be!
Thank you for the encouragement Susie.
Susie, I just love this. I especially needed to hear; “God knows you. He knows what all you are juggling. He likes you more than you think He does.” This was so encouraging. Thank you!!
Jen, fun to see you here! Weird how the idea that God LIKES us can sound even more powerful than LOVING us. Funny huh?
I love this post! I am the same way I can never find the car and don’t like it when my husband is in the car waiting and I have to look silly trying to find him.. Just happened to me today too!
It’s wonderful how God loves us so much and is rejoicing over us! He’s do loving and always wants us to come to him no matter what it is.
Susie, I’ve been down that road too many times as well. Even though I know He is ready to forgive, “plenteous in mercy,” and all that, when I know I’ve been distant from Him, I somehow feel compelled to stay away. Thanks for this timely reminder! (By the way, I too am blessed with a hubby who reminds me of our gracious, loving God. What a gift!)
Susie, this is a priceless testimony. I love to think there are people like me out there who suffer with directional issues. Love your hubby’s thoughts and especially that he shared them with you. But what a wonderful blessing to know our God sees us, and sees His Son and loves us just because. Too marvelous for words.
Very encouraging, Susie! I, too, do the same thing in parking lots – and I love your analogy!