Absolutely perfect

A few weeks ago I walked into the house at the end of a long day and sank onto the couch, kicked off my boots, and launched into filling Mike in on all the details. He’s good at that; at knowing when I need to talk something through and – on this particular day – I think he realized long before I did, that I was about to, indeed, talk something through. He pulled off his reading glasses like he does when he’s preparing to give his full attention to something and he listened.

It had been a full day, with classes, labs, a meeting, and then a late lunch with one of our sons. The many conversations – rich with nuggets of information that were still waiting for me to patiently mine through – played through my mind and skipped across my heart as I tried to convey it all to my husband.

After I had done the best that I could, he leaned over and simply looked me straight in the eye. “This is the answer to all those prayers.”

His words stopped me and I grew still.

In one single sentence he had managed to capsulize what my heart had been trying to wrap its arms around for hours. Sometimes I think it’s the prayers we pray the most; the ones we pray for days and weeks and even months that eventually become such a part of the fabric of our day. Much like brushing our teeth or getting the coffee ready to brew for the following morning. They simply become a part of us, so when they begin to be answered we don’t always recognize them.

My husband’s words took me back over the past months, to the countless times I’ve gone to my knees – the tears I’ve wept, the promises I’ve clung to, the prayers that made their way from the farthest reaches of my soul at some of the darkest hours of the night…

In those times I imagined what this answered prayer would look like. I pictured it in my heart’s mind and I memorized it. I knew its lines, its depth, its weight. I knew its color, its shape, the way it would look, sound, taste, feel and behave.

But you see, that’s the great thing about my God. He is the ultimate in delivering surprises. When He answers prayers, He takes great delight in making sure that each package is unique; He wants it to be a one-of-a-kind, original in every conceivable way. I forget that sometimes; either that, or my mind is just not able to comprehend the magnitutude of what it is that He is all about.

This morning I do know He is all about loving His children. As much as I love my own children, He loves His all the more.

From that first moment a few days ago, when He began to answer this long-held prayer, it has been an almost non-stop process since. Each day, more and more of His plan has unfolded and I am in awe of Him. I would never have imagined this answer. It looks nothing like I imagined. Feels nothing like I imagined. Sounds like nothing that I had imagined.

“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.” — Romans 8:37

That makes it all about Him, and not at all about me.

And that makes it absolutely perfect.