Why My House is Messy

I’m a self-proclaimed neat freak who is drawn to the messy.

Yeah, before you say it, I know. I’m a walking dichotomy.

In college, a clean dorm room was a must. Curling iron and hair dryer cords were wrapped and put away. Makeup brushes nestled inside my Caboodle, and dresser drawers were always pushed shut.

Down the hall, I had two friends who were just the opposite. Their dresser was covered with hair rollers and lip-gloss tubes. On the mirror, they wrote with eye pencils. Books and papers were sprinkled on their desks, and yesterday’s clothes could probably be spotted somewhere on the floor.

But something about their room drew me.

Now that I have a home of my own, it’s the same. I strive to keep an organized abode. When people enter, I want to hear the flutter of pages as they step into my Better Homes and Garden house. I want them to rest on my toile covered couch while I serve them homemade jam and biscuits. But with three kids, I might as well serve popcorn and peanuts and welcome them to the circus.

The days when my home is the messiest, others invariably tell me, “Your house is so homey and inviting.” What is it that makes the messy so appealing?

I have discovered when I see disarray in others, it makes me not so nervous about my own appearance. There is comfort in walking into a situation and noticing immediately that imperfection is welcome. No one is going to toss me out for not fitting the mold.

Unfortunately, I’ve tried so long to make others believe I’m the walking representation of the magazine pages, that I’ve turned people away. Those who don’t know Christ are afraid to approach, and those who do are afraid they don’t measure up.

So, I’ve made a choice to take off the mask.

I am imperfect.

I’m not proud. Just honest. You may notice my toenails need a new coat of paint, or I’m wearing mismatched earrings. Perhaps when you visit my home, I’ll invite you to sit on my stained couch where you can put your iced tea on my dusty end table. I don’t create a home cooked meal every night, and there are piles of unfolded laundry in most every bedroom.

What is most important is that you understand I welcome imperfect people into my life and home.

Why?

Because I’m not perfect, but I know One who is.

“As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. 2 Samuel 22:31 NIV

Lord, please help me to be transparent to those around me. Allow me to let down my guard enough to let others see I struggle with the same things they do. Help me to never put myself on display. God, You are the only one worthy of such honor. May Your strength be made perfect in my weakness. Amen.

13 Responses to Why My House is Messy
  1. Dawn
    June 6, 2011 | 5:58 am

    I love love this post. It is so real honest. Thank you!

  2. Kim
    June 6, 2011 | 8:53 am

    AMEN! My house and yours look a lot alike. Great post Carol. 🙂
    And – I still have my Caboodle! LOL
    Hope you and the family are doing well.

  3. Charmaine
    June 6, 2011 | 12:03 pm

    Another member of the Caboodle club here. I now have all things sewing in it—buttons, needles, etc. My house is organized clutter and it seems I am always trying to find some way to have it neatly organized–especially all the books, journals, bibles, eyc I keep by my easy chair in my bedroom which is my quiet place. Good post–takes a little pressure off. 🙂

  4. Bri
    June 6, 2011 | 4:05 pm

    Amazing! I try so hard to keep my house organized, yet have no luck. lol I LUV the part where you said “There is comfort in walking into a situation and noticing immediately that imperfection is welcome. No one is going to toss me out for not fitting the mold.” That part really sticks with me!

  5. Barbie
    June 6, 2011 | 5:34 pm

    I love this post. I have a hard time keeping my home in order, with four kids and a full time job. Most days, I can only manage the cooking and kitchen clean up. My kids live out of baskets of unfolded laundry. Yep, I am one of those moms. Thanks for helping me to realize that I don’t hae to be perfect in this area.

  6. Kimberly
    June 6, 2011 | 9:03 pm

    I love this, Carol! We absolutely could serve popcorn and peanuts over here, too! 🙂 And living out of baskets of unfolded laundry? Yes, mam. That is the norm in this house.

    I know I am always so relieved to go over to a friend’s house and see dishes still in her sink or a few piles cluttering her counter. 🙂 Just as you have said, it makes me feel more at ease, like my imperfection is welcome.

    You always make me smile with your words of encouragement!
    Love you!
    K

  7. rebecca Nordyke
    June 6, 2011 | 9:39 pm

    I so needed to read this TODAY.

  8. […] also found a dozen happy tweens enjoying some good, clean (and messy) fun.I was ok with the popcorn.Why My House is MessyI’m a self-proclaimed neat freak who is drawn to the messy.Yeah, before you say it, I know. I’m […]

  9. Kristin_OPC
    June 11, 2011 | 12:13 pm

    This is a fabulous post! Thank you so much for givingin me comfort in my imperfections and remindingme that even though my home seems messy and chaotic, in His eyes, I am enough.

  10. Mozi Esmes Mom
    June 11, 2011 | 2:36 pm

    Lovely post…

  11. Catherine
    June 11, 2011 | 5:32 pm

    I struggle with this – I want to be B&G perfect but life gets in the way. I’ve been known to not host play dates because my house was not clean enough, didn’t measure up. I need to focus on the right things.

  12. Tracy Geier
    June 11, 2011 | 9:00 pm

    My husband affectionately calls me his Little White Tornado b/c I am the cause of the clutter in our household.
    I am just as good about getting the BH&Gardens look in place when we leave on a trip or have the possibility of company coming, but can not seem to keep it that way for everyday use, although I am trying. It is clean, just cluttered. While it can stress me out some days, I am happy to hear that we are not alone. Thanks for your honesty.

  13. the adviser
    June 13, 2011 | 2:48 pm

    Nice post. I wanted to see what was really worse than a messy house. I couldn’t think of anything
    : )Check out my post on the history of the veil.