“Are You Happy, or Just Married?”

I sort of laughed off the question when it was first asked. After all, it’s kind of hard to take a drunken Moose too seriously.

I was at my class reunion recently, chatting with a long-time friend and a new friend when someone who clearly wasn’t a classmate approached us. When he extended his hand to me, I thought perhaps he’d been a teacher at the school.

But when he pulled me in for a hug and asked, “Can I take you out?” I realized he was neither. (In order to hold our informal gathering at the local Moose Lodge, the event was opened to graduates from all previous years.)

It’s been y-e-a-r-s since anyone other than my husband has asked me out so his question caught me off-guard. I held out my left hand in reply, hoping my wedding set would be explanation enough to my verbal “no.”

When he followed up with, “Are you happy or just married?” he (toddled) off after my “both.”

We laughed at the moment, but the seriousness of the question struck me later. And not just in relation to my own marriage.

My relationship with Christ can become complacent in the same way I can begin to take my marriage for granted.

Time together–Have you noticed how it’s important to continue to ‘date’ your husband? This isn’t necessarily time spent at church or in Bible study, although those are both good. We need to spend time away from other people, from responsibilities and interruptions. Quiet time where we have the opportunity to talk about what’s on our minds and in our hearts and time to let Him speak back to us. Taking a walk, sitting on the patio, maybe even locked in the bathroom taking a soak.

Studying each other–I’ve come to the conclusion that my love language is being understood. It’s not on ‘the list’ but there is nothing that means more to me than being known. Being understood seems to come more naturally in some relationships than others, but at the heart it comes from paying attention, taking notice. It’s so easy to let our relationship with God kind of just happen—especially if we’ve been at it for a while. But as much as we may know from our years together, there’s still always more to learn. We need to be intentional about that.

Anticipation–part of why I created my “RefreshMoments” style of doing devotions is that I get more from an event that I spend some time preparing for and anticipating.

Having my special quiet times with the Lord makes the time even more sweet than when I just cram it in at a moment’s notice.

The best part of ‘working’ at our relationship with God is we know it’s never one-sided—He’s completely committed to it too.

Come near to God and he will come near to you. James 4:8

What about your relationship with God? If someone asked are you happy, or ‘just married?’ what would you say?

2 Responses to “Are You Happy, or Just Married?”
  1. Deb
    September 30, 2010 | 10:22 am

    Awesome post, Mary! What a great analogy. Happily married to both my husband and my Lord. Glory to God! My constant prayer is that they both could say the same about me. Thanks!

  2. Carol Hatcher
    October 3, 2010 | 9:06 pm

    Loved this Mary! An excellent question indeed. My husband and I teach marriage classes. I may have to use that question. Thanks for sharing. 🙂