Learning To Obey

Do you ever have those days when you feel you could be a much better parent? Maybe you’ve yelled too much or not spent enough quality time with your kids. Then the guilt kicks in and you make the decision to try to do better. You make a vow things are going to change.

Recently, I made a solemn vow to myself that our “getting ready” time was going to run much smoother. “Getting ready time” is that time when you are “getting ready” to go out the door some place. Most often for us it’s to church or school. It seemed lately that “getting ready” had become a circus. I tried to prepare better by doing things like ironing and laying out clothes, packing bags, and getting baths the night before.

“I’ll have more patience,” I promised myself. “I won’t be so quick to yell.” However, this was a promise broken. Even with the advance preparation I had so carefully executed to make my mornings run more smoothly, I still had to raise my voice to the level of surround sound to get my children to listen and obey. Even though I had made the request to “brush your teeth” or “get your coat” at least four or five times, the children didn’t seem to hear until I was yelling like a crazy person. My behavior resembled one of those sports fans, mad at a referee for not calling in their team’s favor. I was frustrated, because I was trying to get them to a place they needed to be and they weren’t cooperating. After all, they couldn’t get there on their own.

Once I began to yell, they finally paid attention and obeyed my requests. The delayed obedience came with the words “We’re sorry Mom,” “It won’t happen again, Mommy,” “We’ll listen, we’ll obey, we love you Mommy.” My first thought was “You don’t mean it. If you were really sorry, you would change your behavior. You would obey me and not make me raise my voice to get your attention.” But before the words could travel from my head to my mouth, I felt the gentle prod of the Spirit and heard Him say. “If you loved me, you would obey my commands.”

That hit hard. How many times have I myself not obeyed God’s requests even though He asked repeatedly? Sometimes I am so busy doing my own thing I don’t do what He has planned for me. And what He has planned is always better than anything I could ever do on my own. He is always trying to get me to a place I need to be, a place I can’t get to on my own. He’s not taking me to school, but to a place where He can teach me something. He’s not taking me to church, but to a place where I can worship Him and experience more of His presence. There are times when I have ignored His requests to the point I no longer hear his still small voice and He has to raise it to get my attention. He raises His voice by allowing circumstances to come into my life to get me to pay attention, to listen more closely to what He has to say.

All of these thoughts passed in just a few seconds, but in those few seconds, I was reminded of how good God is. How patient He is. How merciful He is. How forgiving He is. I cried out in my spirit… “I’m sorry God. It won’t happen again. I’ll obey. I love you. I want to do what you have planned. I want to go where you want to take me.” And then I felt it. Peace and unconditional love. The forgiveness He gives when I ask for it. The thankfulness that His mercies are new every morning flooded my heart.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at my children. I wanted to be sure I had their full attention. I told them I forgave them for their disobedience. I told them I loved them no matter what. I told them we would start over again tomorrow morning… and we would do better. I wanted to be sure they understood this is what our Heavenly Father does for us too.

Then I didn’t feel so frustrated… so defeated. I felt renewed knowing Christ is living in me, perfecting me day by day, forgiving me when I make mistakes, doing whatever it takes to get my attention, and teaching me to trust and obey. And because of Him, I am a much better parent.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 (NIV)

“If you love me, you will obey what I command.” (John 14:15 NIV)

“Intelligent children listen to their parents; foolish children do their own thing.” (Proverbs 13:1 The Message)