Where We Pray for the Unspeakable


“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6

“I love the Lord because He hears my prayers and answers them. Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I breathe!” Psalm 116:1, 2 (Living Bible)

Can we talk for a minute? 

You’re wearing that pain like a pair of old shoes. Worn low from love…they fit. But they aren’t comfortable. They pinch in odd places and won’t be back in style soon enough to warrant another year of space in an already full closet. Whether from habit or limited choices you’re in a rut. For some reason you keep reaching for the same pair. You think I don’t notice. 

But I do.

I’ve been thinking about you. Laid fresh on the doorstep of my heart, I can’t go another day without picking you up for a closer look. I want to turn the pages and look at the pictures, open the folds, maybe tuck you under my arm to take with me on my way out. This might take a while. 

I’ve always admired you. You’re a thoughtful mother, committed wife and your professional accomplishments are impressive. That you do it all for Christ is a testimony of His faithfulness. It all streams behind you like the most extravagant silk train. An array of jewels, crystals and beads…and pearls. It’s beautiful. But it’s heavy. You should take it off sometimes. 

Those things don’t redeem your worth or increase your value. And sometimes those very wonderful things are what keep you from Christ. Because in the end..you’re just a girl..who needs her God. Now more than ever you realize those things…are adornments. To be clear, they’re all good things. But they don’t matter now…not when your soul’s in crisis. Not when you ran into the bathroom to keep your children from seeing you breakdown…again – not when you schedule time for panic attacks in the ladies room at work. 

It’s that thing, the unspeakable thing, the nameless one…the thing that breaks your heart. It’s your thorn, your secret shame. 

And you aren’t ready to talk about it so let’s do that other thing we do. 

Let’s pray. 

Let’s pray about that thing. 

Whatever you’re going through please know I see it and I care. I want to whisper strength in spaces where you’re weak. Fortify your thin places with the truth of a psalm. Remind you of His promise… the blood bought covenant between you. Believe with you that when we’ve run out of words, we’ll always have His.

I want to tell you it won’t always be this way. 

I want to tell you it’s okay to carve out space for self-preservation. To make time for that little thing you love. Just because. It’s okay to say no and mean it. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to feel the sweet release of a fist shaking rant. And it’s okay to raise your hands to heaven with a cry for help. It’s okay. I want you to know – rest…isn’t wrong. And neither is help. It’s okay to seek professional help.

It’s okay that we’re here. 

This is a “for women only” zone – a sacred circle for sisters. We’ll hold hands, breathe deep the scent of myrrh and burning candles or sit together over coffee in the food court at a mall. We’ll be quiet. The dangerous, healing, regenerative kind. In the silence, we’ll send hope to heaven on the wings of an exhale. Storm heaven with a hug and the dream of amen. Our thoughts, crafted as celestial prayers…heaven bound. 

And He’ll hear. He will. 

Come, I’ve been here before. I’ll walk to the altar with you.

5 Responses to Where We Pray for the Unspeakable
  1. Ginger Harrington
    March 5, 2015 | 2:06 pm

    Wow. You just reached in and touched my heart. Thank you Sister.

    • lisha epperson
      March 5, 2015 | 2:17 pm

      Oh bless you sister. Writing like this is always a heart journey. It made me remember my own time with an unspeakable thing and how much I needed someone to walk with me. Thank you for being here Ginger!

  2. Yolanda DeLoach
    March 6, 2015 | 8:02 am

    Beautiful words, Lisha. God hears our pain.

    • lisha epperson
      March 6, 2015 | 9:04 am

      I’m thinking hard lately about the things we don’t or can’t say. And for sure there’s freedom in telling and releasing but until then…when we’re in the unspeakable place…I believe he knows. He hears. Thanks for being here today Yolanda.

  3. Debi Schuhow
    March 11, 2015 | 1:58 pm

    Oh, if you lived closer I’d have coffee with you!