I have a confession to make. I would like to be perfect before God uses me for anything. That way, He’s not embarrassed. I’m not embarrassed. Of course, then He would never be able to use me this side of heaven. I am not and will not be perfect. And yet, the desire to be is so often still there.
Teary-eyed and heavy-hearted, I tried to convince the Lord one morning He really should call it quits on me. “Listen. I am such a mess. Such. A. Mess. Maybe You just shouldn’t use me anymore, okay? Maybe You should find someone who has it more together or wait until I have it more together.
Continue Reading »
I remember wanting to be a beauty queen during my preteen years. I am not sure what pulled me in the most – the gorgeous gowns or the desire to be officially labeled beautiful. Bless my awkward pre-teen heart…it was for the best my family could not afford for me to participate in beauty pageants. Pimples, braces, and a lack of anything curvaceous would have kept my head quite tiara-free.
Thankfully, as I have grown older, my desire to be found beautiful has shifted from wanting to look fantastic in a swimsuit competition to longing to see and share the beauty the Lord has placed inside of me.
Continue Reading »
Change. Some people thrive on it. They live for adventure. They get bored when things stay the same. Others just about lose their lunch from the motion sickness caused by even the tiniest of changes. I’m definitely more of the latter. If I’m all comfortable, then really, must we upset things?
My mom is always moving her furniture around. I never know from one visit to the next where things are going to be in her house. I remember going home during college and being frustrated as I tried to discover which drawer now held her silverware. Me? Once my furniture is in place, I’m pretty good – like forever.
Continue Reading »
When my grandmother had her stroke, we held out hope she would one day talk again. For a while she could speak a little, but her words were all too often garbled and confused. A look of frustration soon replaced the quick smile we had always known her to wear.
Before her health slipped even more and dementia began to fully take over, the Lord gave me a gift. It happened one Sunday as I stood beside my grandmother in her church.
As the congregation began to recite the Lord’s Prayer, I heard my grandmother speaking the words right along with everyone else.
Continue Reading »
I remember shopping for my wedding gown. Me, a young bride-to-be, longing to be beautiful and yet still trying to be practical. My momma raised me on consignment stores and additional 50% off sales – so when I found an elegant off-white gown on the clearance rack of a local bridal boutique, I snatched it up. Never mind the fact it had a spot on the train. It was a small stain. Who would ever notice? I had found a deal!
I walked down the aisle in my bargain of a dress and then tucked it away in the back of a closet.
Continue Reading »
“Alright, ladies. You know what we have to do in the morning. I don’t want any crying or complaining from any of you. It is time to get this done.”
My husband looked around the dinner table at the four of us. My daughters and I sat there a little dumbfounded, wondering what horrible thing we were going to have to do the next morning. I laughed when it hit me. The Christmas decorations had to come down.
Now, I am sure some of you may think the no crying or complaining part was intended for my daughters. Not so. My husband was addressing me – the lover of Christmas decorations.
Continue Reading »
I am not sure who has more trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve – me or my three girls. After resisting the temptation to go ahead and give them all of their gifts early, I lay in bed imagining how delighted they are going to be the next morning.
And when my daughters get up, they do not disappoint. Though they may start out sitting in sleepy-eyed wonder, it does not take them long to wipe the sleep from their eyes and dig in. Tearing through wrapping paper. Turning stockings upside down to make sure they get out every single teeny-tiny thing.
Continue Reading »
Have you ever tried to talk God out of using you? You long for Him to use you. You pray for Him to do mighty works through you. And then an opportunity comes your way, and panic worms it’s way into your heart.
Me? Are you sure you want to use ME, Lord?
When I start giving Him my long list of reasons why He shouldn’t use me, He reminds me that all He’s asking for…is my lunch.
My lunch? Okay, not my soup and my sandwich. But my gifts, my talents, my abilities, my personality. God wants me to give Him all that I am and then watch what He can do.
Continue Reading »
