Imperfectly Usable

crackI have a confession to make. I would like to be perfect before God uses me for anything. That way, He’s not embarrassed. I’m not embarrassed. Of course, then He would never be able to use me this side of heaven. I am not and will not be perfect. And yet, the desire to be is so often still there.

Teary-eyed and heavy-hearted, I tried to convince the Lord one morning He really should call it quits on me. “Listen. I am such a mess. Such. A. Mess. Maybe You just shouldn’t use me anymore, okay? Maybe You should find someone who has it more together or wait until I have it more together. I am really just too much of a mess to be usable, Father.”

His answer to me was immediate. “What about My disciples? Did I wait until they were perfect before I sent them out?”

Oh. Ummmm…well…that would be a “no”.

The disciple Peter immediately came to mind. I have often been encouraged as I have thought about how God used Peter, even after he denied Christ. If God could use Peter after that, then surely He can use me despite all of my failings.

But God showed me something more. He had chosen to use Peter before he denied Christ. He already knew that Peter was going to really blow it, and yet, He still called him to be a disciple. He still sent Peter out to minister in His name. He knew Peter’s every weakness, and yet deemed him usable.

He has deemed me usable, too. Imperfectly usable, like Peter. He knows my every weakness, sees my every failure (ones I don’t even know about yet – have MERCY!), and yet He still calls me to minister in His name. How tender. How precious. How God!

I am still a mess – probably always will be in some way or another. But that’s okay. I am a mess with a Messiah. A Messiah Who deemed me worth dying for. A Messiah Who invites me on great adventures with Him. A Messiah Who allows me, imperfect me, to share perfect Him with others. And oh, friends, if He gets all the glory by shining through the cracks of an earthen vessel, then I can rejoice in the midst of my weaknesses. I mean, I have so many cracks and flaws He can shine through, I should have a life that positively radiates Him!

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” 2 Corinthians 4:7

How about you? Are you waiting and wanting to have it more together before you minister in His name? May we trust that as we lay our lives before Him in total surrender that He is growing us, changing us, molding us. And may we trust that, even during the process, He still wants to use us. Right now. He isn’t waiting on us to be perfect. He’s just waiting for us to say, “Yes, Lord, use me.”

10 Responses to Imperfectly Usable
  1. Dawn
    June 3, 2012 | 12:24 pm

    “Mess with a Messiah”….LOVE IT!!!

    • Kimberly
      June 4, 2012 | 6:06 am

      🙂 And that is exactly what I am! 🙂

  2. Cyndi
    June 3, 2012 | 7:02 pm

    Awesome, as one is flawed and often a mess I know He is able to use me but I forget this is His choice and not mine. So while I protest my ability I need to realize his timing and just relax as he won’t let me screw up the things he wants me to do. It will be alright, he’ll supply what I need to do what he wants me to do when he wants me to do it. Whew, thank goodness cause I am still a mess lol! Thanks for your great words!!!

    • Kimberly
      June 4, 2012 | 6:08 am

      The need to relax seems to be a constant theme for my life. 🙂 I love what you have said here…that He won’t let us screw up the things He wants us to do. That we can trust His timing and His calling. Thanks for commenting and encouraging! 🙂 From one mess to another…blessings!!!

  3. Amy Alves
    June 5, 2012 | 3:00 pm

    Hey Kimberly,
    I love the line, “I am a mess with a Messiah”! That sounds just about right to me. 🙂 Keep seeking His face… we will always need Him. What a blessing! ~ Blessings girl, Amy

    • Kimberly
      June 5, 2012 | 10:36 pm

      You are SO right, sweet Amy. We will always, always, always need Him! 🙂 Blessings, friend!

  4. Kerry
    June 9, 2012 | 4:59 pm

    This is right on. Thank you for the invite from your site!

    • Kimberly
      June 10, 2012 | 10:57 pm

      Thank YOU for stopping by! Blessings, Kerry! 🙂

  5. Dawn
    June 12, 2012 | 10:04 am

    Isn’t God good! Can’t wait til you share after speaking (this Summer, right?) or did you do it already? ANyway, look forward to what He will say through you because so far I am blessed!

  6. Annie
    June 14, 2012 | 2:39 pm

    Thanks for this post. I needed to be reminded. Have a blessed day, Annie