A Spirit of…

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 7

This morning I asked myself if I’m living out this verse by modeling it for my children. I hope to make a more concerted effort to show them I’m living with a spirit of courage, power, love and self-discipline. If I trace back through an ordinary day I can think of dozens of times I allow complaints to slip from my lips. From the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning to throwing vegetables on the stove for dinner, I find little things that needle me and I freely express my irritation. Complaining through each day is a weak way to live…a timid way.

What messages am I sending my children throughout the day?

I want them to see a courageous woman. I crave for them to know that I battle through thoughts and insecurities with God’s push and persevering love. Someday I’ll sit down with them and share about my experience as a writer. I’ll tell them about the times I kept submitting after facing rejection. Next September I plan to attend a writing conference. I’ve made online connections with numerous people who will be there, but I’ve never met any of those planning to attend. I expect to be shrouded with nerves. I’m going to carry this verse from Timothy with me. And before I take off for the airport, I aim to sit down with my children and express to them that I’m going to trust how God has empowered me with a spirit of love and discipline.

Meanwhile, I long for them to see me relying on Him for the little things. And in order to demonstrate my trust I’ve committed to shutting up. I’m going to keep my words in check (primarily my complaints). One day when they have children of their own I wonder if they’ll remember how I loved God. I want that more than anything. I yearn for my girls to witness my love for God. My prayer is that my girls will understand the intense power He supplies, the overwhelming love He lavishes and the necessary self-discipline He instills. Until then…let me live it.

One Response to A Spirit of…
  1. Gina
    January 17, 2010 | 10:39 am

    It’s so easy to fall into the complaining mode and once I do so hard to crawl out! Thanks for this reminder today, I’m going to try to live it!

    And hope you’re talking about ACFW! It would be fun to meet in person!