by Sarah

I love my children. I have two girls, ages 4 and 6. They are my heart and my purpose. Even when they make me crazy, as children are wont to do. I received a gift when I became a mother, and it was more than just a baby. It was insight into the heart of God. I have learned more about the nature of God since I had my first child 6 years ago than I learned in the 25 years prior.

I can’t tell you how many times I am in the midst of a mommy moment and the light bulb goes on above my head. “Ohhhh… I get it.”

The other day Ella, my oldest, was trying to stack her markers end to end to touch the ceiling. They weren’t all the same kind and weren’t a tight fit. I could see right away it wasn’t going to work, and I told her so. I didn’t say it to discourage her – it was physically impossible for it to happen. She was getting so frustrated trying to get it to work, and causing herself so much unnecessary heartache. She’d get a few together and then it would fall over. Every time she’d get more frustrated, and equally determined to MAKE it work with all her 6-year-old self could muster.

It was hard to watch her when I knew it wasn’t going to work. It hurt to see her so upset when I knew she didn’t have to be. But finally I gave in and thought, “Ok, fine, knock yourself out.”

Light bulb.

How many times do I try to do things my own way? To provide for myself? How often am I trying to MAKE it work? And maybe whatever it is, is not in God’s plan for me at all. Maybe if I slowed down and listened, he’s busy whispering, “Try this…follow me…” Maybe it hurts His heart to see me feeling so upset and relying on myself.

Ohhhh…I get it.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6: 31-34 – NIV)

About the Author: Sarah is living the life God has provided but she never expected — and loving it. She’s a work-at-home mom of two girls, Ella (6) and Natalie (4), and she’s been married for almost 11 years. Sarah is searching for balance, and is suspicious that it is another one of those things only God can provide. It’s a work in progress. In the meantime, when she’s supposed to be doing something else, she can be found blogging at themommylogues.

2 Responses to Lightbulbs
  1. Tricia
    June 24, 2009 | 8:30 pm

    I get that light bulb. It is like all the sudden you are like oh yah, that makes total sense. I agree with you and sometimes we just need to slow down and listen to Jesus. But Jesus does not punish us but much like you stands by and says come to me child when you are ready for my help. Great Post.

  2. Mozi Esmes Mommy
    June 25, 2009 | 4:26 am

    I have those moments with my daughter all the time – where she insists on trying something that I know won’t work. “I WILL do it!” Thanks for sharing the lightbulb!