Life Goes On . . . Whether I Say So or Not

Right now, I am writing this post from my balcony overlooking the beautiful beaches of Destin, Florida. The stage is set with umbrellas still folded neatly, the waves crashing in and out, and the sounds of children playing in the distance. It’s still morning, too early to endure the harsh reality of having to read on the beach all day, right?

While everything is neat and picturesque around me, I am not. My heart has been turned inside out this entire trip. I have cried more on this beach trip than the already overflowing coastline deserves.

I have forced myself to turn off the intoxicating media all around me. I have forced myself to allow everyone else space to make their own choices and to go about their own lives without me structuring the details for them back home. No one has called for advice or with any pressing needs and the world has gone on quite nicely without me. It sounds a little depressing, but really it is quite freeing. Although I like to control my world, my world does not need me to control it. It spins just fine without me ordering it’s steps.

Psalm 119:59 I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes.

The only one who needs me to control them is me. By controlling everything around me, I have lost control of myself and ordering my own life. And really, if we are purely being psychological about it, me having to control everything is controlling me. Ouch!

I have stopped exercising, stopped writing for my self, and have even stopped making jewelry which is my single most favorite thing to do in the world. Somewhere, some way, I seem to have lost myself.

Surely as the waves crash onto the shore, life goes on whether I do things that nurture my soul or not. Now it’s up to me…

Will I take care of the life that God has given me to live to the fullest?

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

When I travel back to my world away from the beach and the plates start spinning all around me, will I remember who is in the middle of all of those spinning plates and that I have to take care of her first?

Won’t you join me in praying…

Lord, I commit my ways to you. I relinquish control this day and pray that for as many days as it takes me that I will give up my will for Yours. Your mercy is new each day. When I reach out my hand to control the situation, please place my hands in yours and take control. I need you Lord.

We need You Lord.

3 Responses to Life Goes On . . . Whether I Say So or Not
  1. Kendra
    March 28, 2011 | 4:29 am

    I have been dealing with my control issues lately and it’s not pretty. I have come to realize that me wanting to control everything is really a lack of faith and I don’t like that. Giving up control is like giving up an addiction but I know God will walk me through this.

    Enjoy your time in Destin. It is a beautiful place to learn to let go.


  2. BarbieS
    March 28, 2011 | 11:32 pm

    Praying that the Lord will renew and refresh you during your time away.

  3. Eve
    April 8, 2011 | 9:22 am

    May God give you the strength not to give up. Enjoyed your writing