Too Good To Fail?

I closed the book in stunned silence. My heart had been pierced by ten simple words. I wanted sit and absorb the truth. I needed to pray with a repentant heart.

Too bad I was in the middle of a homeschool lesson and the story I had just finished was intended to be character training for my children.

We were reading about David Livingstone, explorer and missionary to the people of Africa. Dave and Neta Jackson chronicle his story as well those of other heroes of our faith in Hero Tales.

This great man of “Dr. Livingstone, I presume?” fame accomplished amazing things for the kingdom. He carried the gospel to places no one else would go and loved the people he served so much that the people he ministered to became known as “Livingstone’s children”.

And then he experienced failure.

What struck me wasn’t that this warrior for the Lord failed, but the Jacksons’ analysis of his refusal to give up.

Ten words:

“He did not think he was ‘too good’ to fail.”

As a recovering perfectionist I know the fear of failure. I know what it feels like to be paralyzed by all the scenarios of possible ramifications of even the smallest mistake.

“He did not think he was ‘too good’ to fail.”

I know the anxiety over finding out my effort wasn’t good enough.

“He did not think he was ‘too good’ to fail.”

Many times I’ve worried about what others would think of my failure.

“He did not think he was ‘too good’ to fail.”

It’s easy to assume my perfectionism was an outward manifestation of feelings of inadequacy; but the conviction was too real and the truth hit too deep for me to ignore it.

By trying so hard to be perfect I’ve been acting on the lie that it’s even possible for me to not to fail.

“There is no one righteous, not even one…” Romans 3:10 (NIV)

Before I try to categorize my quest for perfection as a noble effort to be and do good, I need to remind myself that perfectionism is nothing more than a pretty package on the age-old sin that has ensnared man (and woman) since the garden:

Pride.

The Bible tells us God hates pride and warns us over and over again about the destruction it always causes. I will never move beyond this struggle with perfectionism until I confess my sin of pride.

Because pride erroneously exalts my position and ignores God’s, I must walk in repentance by first bowing my knees to the King, immortal, invisible and live a life of worship of the only One who deserves to be glorified.

“Among the gods there is none like you, O Lord; no deeds can compare with yours. All the nations you have made will come and worship before you, O Lord; they will bring glory to your name. For you are great and do marvelous deeds; you alone are God.” Psalm 86:8-10 (NIV)

It is only the greatness of His glory that can accomplish what would otherwise be impossible; His goodness will humble me and His greatness will empower me.

If I read His Word and believe His Word then I will humbly tremble at His Word.

And the Lord will esteem me. He said so Himself:

This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. Isaiah 66:2 (NIV)

I’m not too good to fail. In fact, I absolutely will fail. But if the King of all creation says He esteems me then I’m ready to say, “Okay Lord. Wherever, whenever, whatever… I’m in!”

– Written by Lori

Lori is a wife and homeschooling mom to two children. The desire of her heart is to have a home where Jesus reigns and prayer and laughter abound. Lori also informed me that she bakes brownies just so she can eat the batter. She blogs about life, faith, school and snack food at http://treeclimbingmom.blogspot.com/.