Refuel us Lord..

Proverbs 31:30.. Charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

All we have heard this past week in the media is about Anna Nicole Smith. I have been burdened by it so I thought I would write about it from a Christian view point. I couldn’t figure out at first why I was so drawn to the hype of it. Then I realized it isn’t because of her notoriety, fame, wealth, it is the intense sadness of her life that I connected with. I am saddened by the life she chose and how she covered up the pain through exploitation of her body, wealth, drugs. She was lost as a goose and miserable and tortured. I am saddened that her bad choices brought a baby into this world, forever abandoned, a pawn to fight over. What kind of life will that baby have?

I understand the insanity of that kind of life. I lived with a mother like her for 19 years, trapped in a hell of Satanism, evil and sexual torture. I’am not saying her life was like mine however she was definitely tortured somehow. Every time I hear a story like Anna’s I realize how truly blessed I’am that I made it through the horrors of my childhood, the satanic cult, drugs, alcohol and sexual trauma. I could have easily ended up with a similar life and demise. I know God did not choose that for me but allowed a way for me to survive it or I would not have. I know one’s who did not survive.

Psalms 56:3 when I am afraid Lord I will trust in you.

I owe all the Anna Nicole’s of this world. I have what they need. I know the lost desperate side of them all. I know what it is like to be in the pits of hell waiting for that hope to come when you honestly believe there is no hope for a rescue. I know the hope; I have a promise from a loving God to be different, to do different and to live different. Out of all the riches Anna possessed the ultimate richness she will never have. Eternity with Christ. That is what saddens me about her.

We who know better must shine for Christ. Shinning for Christ is costly. Light comes only at the cost of that which produces it. An unlit candle in this dark world without Christ does no shinning, we cannot be of great use to others without cost to ourselves, burning suggests suffering, and we shrink from pain. I know for me in my healing process coming to terms with the evilness of what my parents did to me I did many dysfunctional behaviors trying to escape the pain within me. As I began to heal I realized I cannot be effective for Christ if I shrink from that pain and heal correctly. Facing it has made me stronger and moves me closer to those who are hopeless without Christ.

John 17:18 as you have sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world.

We are able to do the Lord’s work no matter what our history. struggles produce strength, all God wants is our willingness, and our boldness to be a light, open to meet others needs before our own then it is almost certain that we are a blessing to the lost and hurting Anna’s of this world, this is when we are shining for the Lord because we are burning. I love this quote:

“The glory of tomorrow is rooted in the drudgery of today†many want the glory without the cross, the shining without the burning, but crucifixion comes before coronation.
-J R Macduff

4 Responses to Refuel us Lord..
  1. Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)
    February 18, 2007 | 1:50 am

    Her story is so very sad – a life completely unraveled, propelled by one terrible mistake after another.

    I do pray though that in her heart – in her last moments – she turned to God. We can never know where she was in those last hours – perhaps she did find peace in Christ. I do hope she did. We all make so many mistakes – hers just got a lot more attention. I believe God was calling out to her as He calls out to all of us, his creations. We just won’t know if she heard His voice and turned to Him.

  2. Susanne
    February 18, 2007 | 1:56 am

    We do have a responsibility, don’t we to share the gospel with those around us. How many Anna’s are there in our neighborhood, our workplaces, our health clubs and anywhere else we tread. Their lives may not be splashed all over the media, but they are there just the same.

    Excellent post on the importance to share the hope that we have, Paulette!

  3. Susan
    February 20, 2007 | 1:53 am

    Paulette, I have also been saddend by what we have seen in the media coverage of Ann Nicole’s life. She sought in vain to fill a hole in her life that could only be filled by God Almighty. She offered up her body and life as a sacrifice to god whom she thought was the answer. This god left her even more lonely and desperate to filled. Now her image and reputation is at the mercy of the media who does not love, care or respect her. All they care about is increasing their viewer ratings and not the people that are closest and most affected by this tragic story.

    Her daughter will now pay the price for the choices her mother made in her search for true love. It is a legacy she will live with for her entire life. If only someone could have reached her with a Love that is true and faithful.

  4. Jeannee
    February 22, 2007 | 11:10 pm

    God Bless you for your writing! Much personal identification ; we have walked similar pathways.