Fear



                               

One of my dearest friends was on the platform and one sentence she said in her message changed my life.

“Sometimes you have to do it scared.”

Almost every time I have said yes to God I’ve had to do it scared.
Scared of the “what if’s.”
What if I’m wrong?
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I totally mess everything up?
What if this is more than I can handle?

During my last two pregnancies I wasn’t a happy pregnant person.
In fact, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.
I fell into a pit of depression and sadness.

I had my first baby girl and despite what I knew God wanted for our family, in my mind I was done having children.
No more babies from this body!

And then she said it…

“Do it scared.”

And I was.
I was terrified.

“But God, what if I get depressed again? What if I can’t fight it? What if I become that sad, angry mess of a mommy that hides in her room and cries for days and for no particular reason while her babies are being babysat by the TV and playing by themselves for hours? God I am so scared of being THAT mommy.”

I then heard His answer, “Do it anyway. Do it scared. I have more for you. I am enough.”

It wasn’t easy.
I had to fight against being that mommy everyday.
He gave me what I needed.
He gave me the strength to fight and the hope to continue.
He made me enough because I was obedient and faithful.

As I have continued in this walk of being a Christ Follower, I have come to the realization that a lot of what He calls us to is scary and takes risk.

Walking this walk is risky.
The path we walk is lit by a lamp not a spotlight.
The path we walk is narrow.
We walk by faith, not by sight.

And walking by faith is scary. Hoping and believing that the path you are taking will be worthy of His calling, but not having any evidence of what the future holds is scary.

Yet, we are told over and over and over again to not be fearful.
Jesus tells us so many times to not be afraid.

“So don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:31
“Do not be afraid any longer, only believe.” Mark 5:36
“Don’t be afraid…because your Father delights to give you the Kingdom.”  Luke 12:32
“Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

He desires us to be fearless. He desires us to run our race and “throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles us and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

Friends the sin that entangles us, the sin that keeps us from running our race, the sin that trips us up and brings us down is our lack of faith. And our lack of faith is rooted in fear. Because the opposite of faith is fear.

We have to throw off our fear.

We have to cut off the chains of fear that entangle us and be set free to run our race, casting out all fear and experience the perfect love of Christ (1 John 4:18).

And even if you have to run your race scared, with each step you take in this race of faith the chains and the baggage and the fear will fall off and you will be free.

I said yes to motherhood one more time.
And He has made it so good.

And the scared…It was worth the yes.

What are you afraid of?
He can take you mess, your fears, your crazy and make it enough.

If you have to…do it scared.

He promises it will be worth it.



                               

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The Gift of Rest is a Sound Mind

2 timothy 1 7

Parenting has the tendency to threaten our peace with fear, doesn’t it?

There are several ways the enemy can plant seeds of fear into our head, threatening to sink deep into our heart & destroy the peace that Jesus provides.

  • Fear of Failure as a Parent/Step Parent
  • Fear that our child(ren) will reject Jesus
  • Fear that our finances will collapse
  • Fear that our child(ren) will get sick or hurt
  • Fear that we’ll damage our children somehow

Fear is ugly

The Holy Spirit brings 2 Timothy 1:7 to mind, and two words jump out at me:

Sound Mind

I’ve been reading through Bonnie Gray’s book Finding Spiritual Whitespace, as well as blogging my way through my personal Journey to Rest

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No Longer Living in Fear

Since childhood, I’ve been afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid of the stories describing a heavenly measuring rod. Afraid of the judgement. Afraid I wouldn’t ever be good enough to escape the consequences of sin and make it to the better place. Afraid of myself, my inadequacies, me — so quick-to-sin. A child afraid. A teenager afraid. Trying to get good graces and accolades. Wanting so badly to be told I was “good”. Seeking affirmation. Wishing so badly to escape the constant heaviness of realized imperfections.

Funerals made me catch my breath, hollowness in my soul, eyes dry and staring, unable to wrap my mind around the impossible forever of what-comes-next?

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