I remember as a child waiting in anticipation for my birthday or for Christmas to arrive. Time moved slowly and the waiting dragged on forever.
As an adult, that time moves much more quickly. It seems like Christmas is around the corner again before last year’s gifts are put away. And birthdays…well, each one is not quite as exciting anymore. The anticipated wait doesn’t drag anymore. Now it flies by.
Waiting for the calendar page to turn—that’s not so hard. Unless time ends, one month will flow into the next, guaranteed.
But waiting on God? It. Is. Hard. Some days waiting on God feels impossible.
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At a time when just being a young black man in America is enough to get you killed—you know what I’m talking about, you’ve read the headlines—I wonder what the other mommies tell their sons. All mommies worry about their sons, don’t they? All mommies tell their sons to be careful, to be respectful, to stand up for themselves, walking in the Truth of God in whose image they are made, right? Are other mommies afraid for their sons?
Here is what I know of fear. I am sufficiently realistic to acknowledge that I will never be free from them. However, I declare that they are not the boss of me, and will never paralyze me to the point of immobility.
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One step forward, two steps back.
That’s the way it seems to go sometimes, doesn’t it? I’ve just recently been there, and it is so frustrating. The encouraging buildup to change becomes short lived. Progress is fleeting, and patience is in short supply.
So, what do we do when our slow movement forward quickly slides backwards?
Remember the positive change we did see. Change takes time. Whether we’re waiting for emotional healing, improvement in a health condition, a job offer, changed attitudes, an ease in difficult finances, or whatever it might be, it often usually takes more time than we would like.
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There are days when it feels like my efforts go completely unnoticed.
It doesn’t matter where we’ve gone, what I’ve tried, or how many errands were run. Someone’s mood is less than desirable. The one thing not accomplished or that was missed on the shopping list is the one thing being talked about. And it seems to get bigger…overtaking everything else.
We tend to focus on the negative, don’t we?
The one thing that didn’t work out instead of all the things that did.
The item we would like to have, ignoring all that we do have.
The unfinished work versus the completed tasks.
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Have you ever scrolled through your Facebook news feed and wondered why you felt kind of down?
Maybe you got on to quickly check in with a friend or to post a note and picture about what you’re up to. But, you find yourself scrolling…a quick “like” here…a brief comment there…and you notice something has changed.
Your thinking has changed from That’s a great picture of my friends, to That looks fun. I wish I could do that.
What beautiful scenery! turns to I’ll never get to go there.
I’m glad she finally got to visit there. becomes Must be nice!
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Run to the football game, run to the birthday party.
Run home, do a quick clean up, run to the grocery story, run back to the party.
Run to hobby lobby for that new project, run home for the baby’s nap.
Run the dishwasher, the dryer and the vacuum.
The vacuum wakes the baby! Run out for last minute errands…
I am not a runner, though there is an element of serenity and determination that appeals to me about running.
But this kind of running described above makes me weary and worn out.
This kind of running is what life and motherhood tends to become.
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Keep in step with the Spirit.
God’s timing is not our timing.
We push and rush, but His timing is best.
Keep walking.
Keep pressing.
Keep seeking more of God with every step.
Let’s keep in step with the Spirit rather than race ahead,
pushing to become what we THINK we should be.
All that we seek can only be done by Spirit.
Let’s cultivate faithfulness with every step.
Don’t give up and don’t give in.
Trying so hard to make ourselves, we measure progress in this place of becoming.
Eyes fixed on what we lack, preparation and practice can feel like failure rather than progress.
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All too often, I have trouble praising God in the midst of unpleasant situations. I’m full of praise when I see His work in my life, and I praise Him for the beauty He creates around me. But it’s those times of trials where I struggle.
Praise was my One Word for 2013. So, you’d think I’d have this praise thing worked out. But, I’m still working on it. I think I’ll always be working on it because it’s hard to put myself aside—how I feel and what I’m thinking—and start praising.
It takes a conscious effort to praise God at all times—especially times I don’t feel like it, when I’m angry or complaining…times when I’m overwhelmed by life…and times I’m starting to doubt that everything will work out.
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