Last month, here on 5 Minutes for Faith, I wrote about the day God stopped me in my tracks. He reminded me that no matter what I think I know, only He knows the full and complete picture of His plans.
That same day, although I don’t remember what I was reading at the time, this verse was put in front of me.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
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Sometimes God stops us in our tracks…for our own good.
I was recently on my knees in prayer…over a situation I have no control.
A situation that was getting the best of me.
I didn’t know what to pray anymore, and I’d moved to just trying to prepare myself for whatever might happen.
While I talked with God, something changed in how I was praying.
“I know what you’re doing here God, and…”
Immediately, I felt God ask me…
“Do you know what I’m doing?”
My breath caught sharply, and I thought of the book of Job when God gets fed up with Job and challenges him with a lot of questions.
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There are days I feel like less. Depending on the day, it might be less skilled, less useful, or less liked by others. And sometimes, I just feel like less. Just. Less.
It happens when I compare myself to others, leading to jealously, anger, and feeling like someone else is better than me.
Maybe you’ve been there too, feeling…
…like less of a mom when you watch other moms who seem to have it all together.
…less loved when you see other marriages.
…less valuable to God when you can’t do what He calls someone else to do.
…less talented when you read or view someone else’s work.
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I have a vitamin D deficiency I didn’t know until my doctor did a blood test. I wouldn’t say it’s a big deal, but when I first found out, it did help explain why I was so tired all of the time.
*Among the symptoms are:
Low energy and fatigue
Symptoms of depression and mood swings
Sleep irregularities
Lowered immunity
To combat the deficiency, I take vitamin D3 supplements once a day. Pretty easy.
As I reached for the vitamin bottle one day, I realized that vitamins are not the only deficiency taking its toll on us.
There is spiritual deficiency.
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As a mom, I wish I could fix all of the issues my daughter has to face.
The dramas of growing up and fitting in.
Learning to control her emotions and behavior.
Figuring out how to live in this sinful world.
But even if I could solve everything, I know it wouldn’t be what’s best for her because there are lessons to be learned.
What I can do is be there for her.
And sometimes, that’s what she needs most—someone to listen and let her know her feelings are valid.
She wants to be heard. She wants to know I’m there for her no matter what.
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Tiny sock covered feet shuffle across the carpet towards my room. I hear the shh-shh-shh-shuffle getting closer. It stops a few feet from me. I look up to sleepy eyes and tornado hair. She waits. “Good morning bitty girl!” I muster all the excitement in me. Her eyes brighten, her eyebrows raise, and her mouth tips upward as she takes a flying leap towards my legs with arms outstretched. I cover her head with kisses and bend down to sprinkle some love on her cheeks and forehead, as well.
Every morning is the same. My little girl drags into my room and waits to be acknowledged.
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This summer, I have two healthy cherry tomato plants growing in my garden, despite the fact that I didn’t plant them and I’ve done nothing to make them grow.
Long after they started to grow, my daughter heard me talking about these plants, and she innocently said, “I planted them.”
What?
With a shrug, she said, “I planted two tomatoes last year.”
Apparently, not knowing if they would grow, she took two tomatoes from last year’s plant and buried them. Not seeds, but whole tomatoes.
I thought the extreme temps and very little rain would be the end of them, but my husband started watering them and they continued to grow.
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This month I was able to visit a family who lives in Guyana, South America. We stayed in their home, ate meals together, walked home in the rain after visiting other friends, and spent many hours in their boat on the river. I watched them give hearty handshakes, exchange smiles, hold little scared hands. I watched them give rides, give encouragement, and give hope.
I watched them love.
You see — they’ve been living in a remote part of Guyana for almost five years now, ministering to the needs of the people in areas only reachable by small plane or boat.
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