I remember as a child waiting in anticipation for my birthday or for Christmas to arrive. Time moved slowly and the waiting dragged on forever.
As an adult, that time moves much more quickly. It seems like Christmas is around the corner again before last year’s gifts are put away. And birthdays…well, each one is not quite as exciting anymore. The anticipated wait doesn’t drag anymore. Now it flies by.
Waiting for the calendar page to turn—that’s not so hard. Unless time ends, one month will flow into the next, guaranteed.
But waiting on God? It. Is. Hard. Some days waiting on God feels impossible.
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Last month, here on 5 Minutes for Faith, I wrote about the day God stopped me in my tracks. He reminded me that no matter what I think I know, only He knows the full and complete picture of His plans.
That same day, although I don’t remember what I was reading at the time, this verse was put in front of me.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
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Sometimes God stops us in our tracks…for our own good.
I was recently on my knees in prayer…over a situation I have no control.
A situation that was getting the best of me.
I didn’t know what to pray anymore, and I’d moved to just trying to prepare myself for whatever might happen.
While I talked with God, something changed in how I was praying.
“I know what you’re doing here God, and…”
Immediately, I felt God ask me…
“Do you know what I’m doing?”
My breath caught sharply, and I thought of the book of Job when God gets fed up with Job and challenges him with a lot of questions.
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There are days I feel like less. Depending on the day, it might be less skilled, less useful, or less liked by others. And sometimes, I just feel like less. Just. Less.
It happens when I compare myself to others, leading to jealously, anger, and feeling like someone else is better than me.
Maybe you’ve been there too, feeling…
…like less of a mom when you watch other moms who seem to have it all together.
…less loved when you see other marriages.
…less valuable to God when you can’t do what He calls someone else to do.
…less talented when you read or view someone else’s work.
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I’m a girly girl.
I don’t leave home without lipstick or gloss. Accessories are a not an option, they are a necessity. I like pink, and if it sparkles I love it.
So you might find it strange I hate long nails. Perhaps it’s the way they click on my keyboard when I type that sends me over the edge. Nevertheless, I try to keep them cut short.
Today as I was responding to some emails, I noticed the clickity clack of my nails on the keyboard. I stopped to inspect. Shocked at the long length, I hopped up and ran to the bathroom to retrieve my clippers.
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“This one’s for Colin.” My daughter mumbled through the candy in her mouth and thrust a tightly gripped root beer lollipop my way. “That’s nice of you,” I bragged and pulled her free hand through the crowded halls at church to make our way towards her brother’s classroom.
I stuck my head in the door of room E-103 and motioned for my son to come. He appeared with his own small candy bag and held out one yellow, sour Skittle for his sister. I smiled at his generosity and applauded myself for teaching my children to share with each other. No one was forced to save candy for the other.
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I’m determined to let Joy have its way in me today.
There are some days that make finding that elusive internal balance a real chore. Finding a sense of balance – a way of “having it all” – has always been an issue for women, it seems, for as far back as time goes.
I heard a Bible lesson taught once, and its message has stuck with me. It was all about the balance of life. The rise and fall, the lulls and the swells, that life’s ocean carries us on. Things come. Things go. People come. People go. Circumstances are bad.
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