Author Archives: Andrea

Andrea Portilla lives in Richmond, Texas and has been married to her high school sweetheart for 11 years. She is a mom and home educator to three amazing kids. Andrea writes at www.beautifulcraziness.com, loves to entertain family and friends in her home and spends whatever time she has left pretending to be crafty. Connect with Andrea at The Beautiful Craziness or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

Cling to Jesus and Remain

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In all my life and in all I have learned, all the good, the trials, the storms, the lovely and the hard, I know one thing for certain and above all else…I must cling to Jesus.

I have to cling to Jesus.

To cling is to have a strong emotional attachment or dependence. To remain or linger as if resisting complete dissipation or dispersal.

Depend  on Him. Linger in His presence.

If I don’t…If I let go even for an instant, I will dissipate. I’ll become less.
Purposeless, faithless, graceless, loveless, godless.

I have to cling.

Cling until my knuckles are white and my muscles are tense and Jesus becomes a part of my hold, my grasp, my fist.

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Giving up in 2015

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At the beginning of 2014 I found myself in a complete state of loss. In every area of my life I had lost control. Control I desperately held onto despite the countless books and bible studies I did on letting go of control and allowing God to take over. I had tried every formula. I prayed every desperate prayer.

It is during those times of despair when you are clinging to hope and the last threads of faith that God slowly begins to peel away the layers that have been blocking the kind of relationship that He has been waiting to pursue with you.

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Slowing Down at Christmas Time

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My hearts desire for this advent season is very simple…to Slow Down.

We are constantly going.
Constantly moving.
Constantly busy.
Constantly running.

We are slaves to time.
Hurry up.
Walk faster.
Let’s go.
We are going to be late.
Come on.
Quickly.

Why do we rush? What is our hurry?

This life is fleeting as it is.
Every breath we take is one closer to our last and still we rush.

So my desire this season is to slow…
Stop and look.
Enjoy.
Breathe.
Savor the moments, the beauty, the wonder of this Christmas Season.

Before the advent of Jesus, people were longing for the Messiah; The Savior and the promise of God.

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Because Sometime you Have to Walk Scared

One of my dearest friends was on the platform and one sentence she said in her message changed my life.

“Sometimes you have to do it scared.”

Almost every time I have said yes to God I’ve had to do it scared.
Scared of the “what if’s.”
What if I’m wrong?
What if I fail?
What if I succeed?
What if I totally mess everything up?
What if this is more than I can handle?

During my last two pregnancies I wasn’t a happy pregnant person.
In fact, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.
I fell into a pit of depression and sadness.

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Seasons, Callings and Open Doors

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I am a wife. A mom. A home educator.

I like to sew and ‘pretend’ to be crafty. I’ve painted furniture, made wreaths…I have two pallets in the garage waiting to be repurposed.
I sing. Not just in my car…I can sing. I’m not awesome…I have a good church voice.
I like to write on this little corner of the internet all my crazy, beautiful thoughts and life happenings.
I share my heart with women in my small group.
I love to read. I take bubble baths.

All these things encompass who I am.

But the first three…being wife, mom and home educator: those are my callings right now.

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Growing Pains

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She comes in around 1 A.M. crying, “My foot hurts!” I rub her leg with oils, giver her some pain meds, pray for her, stroke her hair as she folds her little body into mine and finally rests.

Growing Pains

These past few weeks I have had growing pains.

My feet hurt from walking this walk of obedience.
My legs hurt from climbing this mountain of faith.
My arms hurt from carrying around loads that weigh me down.
My back aches from being stretched and pulled.
My head hurts from constantly captivating my thoughts, insecurities and fears.

When growing pains hurt, I want to just cry.

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Finding Your Rhythm in Your Race

Run to the football game, run to the birthday party.
Run home, do a quick clean up, run to the grocery story, run back to the party.
Run to hobby lobby for that new project, run home for the baby’s nap.
Run the dishwasher, the dryer and the vacuum.
The vacuum wakes the baby! Run out for last minute errands…

 

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I am not a runner, though there is an element of serenity and determination that appeals to me about running.

But this kind of running described above makes me weary and worn out.

This kind of running is what life and motherhood tends to become.

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Follow Me

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 My girls were on the stairs.

In an instant I saw my toddler rolling down. She did a cartwheel like tumble and then rolled onto her back headfirst towards the tile floor.

I screamed.

Her daddy sprang into action and threw himself towards the stairs and, in that same instant caught her head in his hand.

I ran to her and held her as she screamed in fear.

In the corner I saw my 5 year old with her head down.

I hugged her and said, “Sister is ok. I know that was scary.”

“I didn’t know she would fall. I didn’t mean to push her,” the tears began to spill as she confessed her truth and fell into my arms in anguish.

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