When Those You Love Don’t Love Jesus

by Dawn



                               

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. Ephesians 6:10-11

The words stab my heart and I stand, dumbstruck, stuck in the moment. Trapped by the sharpness piercing to my very core. “You want to know what they think of you?”  The words continue without pause for an answer, “Well I’ll tell you, they think you’re a Jesus Freak, and annoying.” I am left speechless. I read Ephesians, chapter six, just this morning, yet I find my heart racing and eyes filling. I am staring into eyes that are hostile, cold and look almost amused at the slight victory of the moment. I’ve got to say something but the hurt, betrayal and surprise cause me to stumble. I am wounded and bleeding.

I want to run. Hide. Retreat. Recover somehow.
Everything I know, believe, hope seems distant with the blow.

I think of Judas…again.
I think of Jesus.
I think of Peter, and Paul and Mary’s faith.
I think of the crowds.
The Twelve.
Pilate’s question.

My head is spinning and I ‘m trying still to catch my breath, because of the sobs I’m choking back and not understanding. I know this Christian walk is not supposed to be easy. I have called myself the same and laughed about it. What I am is what I am, there is no denying. I would rather be called a Jesus Freak than any other name. But the hiss of disapproval from one so close, stings and burns to the bone.

It could not have been a more stupefying moment if I was a deer standing in the middle of a road, staring down a car, trying to figure out what was coming toward me. I’m looking dead ahead but don’t perceive the hit that’s about to come.

It is not an enemy who taunts me–I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me–I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you–my equal, my companion and close friend. Psalm 55:12-13

Perhaps it was inevitable.
This collision of faith.

My breathing steadies.
My eyes are almost dried.

I blink hope.

Maybe the scripture I read this morning was not a waste, despite my momentary setback.
Not at all…and I perceive the heart within me beating rhythmically.

His word never returns void, does it?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Trust, lean, acknowledge. Him.

He’s got my back.

He’s got the back of those who I love and who don’t love Him back.

Yet.

Armour intact.

Lord, sometimes I don’t understand everything that happens, but I choose to trust you to direct my paths. I thank you that you are a trustworthy, faithful God. You’ve got this. Keep me standing firm as I acknowledge You. By grace through faith, in Jesus name. Amen.

(Photo Credit)

Email Author    |    Website About Dawn

Dawn Paoletta is a writer who is finally coming out of the closet and following her dream to share her life lessons and insights with anyone who will listen. Being recently laid up with a muscular injury has temporarily curtailed her career in fitness allowing her the golden opportunity needed to reorder her priorities and shift her focus to blogging her greatest passions: Living out her faith as a modern day disciple of Jesus Christ and enjoying spending time with her husband, daughter and family pets. She is a natural coach and encourager who can't help sharing what she's learned along her journey with authenticity, grace and truth. Visit Dawn at her blog, Enthusiastically Dawn

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Melissa P. February 7, 2013 at 6:06 am

Thank you for this post. God Bless. : )

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2 Pam M. February 7, 2013 at 8:18 am

Oh, Dawn. Awesome, awesome post. Hits home WAY too hard, resonates too deeply. Sisters in Christ, sisters in these tears and this pain, too.

“He’s got the back of those who I love and who don’t love Him back.

Yet.” THANK GOD He does.

Thank you for this. I’m sure there are many other silent sufferers who NEED to read this today.

Grace & peace,
Pam

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3 Nikki February 7, 2013 at 12:27 pm

Oh I so get this…
and you know what scares me even more? If no one said that of me. If I didn’t give them reason to call me a Jesus Freak…ugh.

Trust. yes. that’s where it’s at. {HUGS}

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4 Susie Klein February 7, 2013 at 1:17 pm

So powerful Dawn! Wow, I am standing here reading these words aloud and feeling what you were feeling. I so do not want to be called a freak, but you made it sound almost like an honor. Congrats on continuing to walk and love those who do not love Him.

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5 denise February 7, 2013 at 5:02 pm

I enjoyed this.

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6 Renee February 7, 2013 at 5:44 pm

Very true…..needing to trust God in all circumstances even when we are hurt and don’t understand….maybe especially then. I too am a Jesus “freak” I guess…..
Bless you.

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7 Cecelia Lester February 8, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Beautiful thoughts here. I know how this made you feel. I was told once that I shouldn’t have felt the way I did after something traumatic “because you’re a Christian.” It hurt.Then some else told me we hurt and have some sadness in our lives because we are still human.

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