He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10a NIV
I wonder if I’ve done something.
I wonder if He’s testing me.
And…I wonder if, for now, the silence is okay.
Maybe there’s nothing more to it than knowing God is always with me, even when I don’t hear Him and can’t feel Him.
I keep talking to Him and spending time in His Word, and I know He hears me.
Maybe I’m like a child who learns to trust her mom is there when she calls to her.
When my daughter was very young, she would say my name, over and over, to make sure I would answer each time. She would peak around the corner of a door to make sure I was there, even when I’d just answered her “Mom?”
As she grew older, she still needed to make sure I was right there, but with less frequency. Now, she’s comfortable just knowing I’m in the house. She comes to find me if she wants to talk or needs something, but doesn’t have the constant need to make sure I haven’t left—she just knows.
I wonder if I’ve never moved past the young stage of constantly checking to make sure God is there.
Maybe that’s what He’s reminding me of when He’s silent—He’s already shown me He’s with me. He’s proven it, and I know it, without a doubt.
So, the fear that if He’s silent, He must not be there…that’s the enemy. The enemy wants us to believe God won’t be there for us. But the enemy is a liar.
God is there. Always. And when I start to panic? All I have to do is look back at all the times God has spoken to me. All the times He’s shown me where He is—walking next to me.
My daughter doesn’t holler for me as often anymore and sometimes I miss it. There was something sweet about those days when she was totally dependent on me and thought I hung the moon—and at the same time terrifying because I could never come close to living up to her expectations.
But God can. He will not only live up to our expectations, but He surpasses them in unfathomable ways.
So, what about the little girl in me who calls out to Him constantly, wondering why He’s not answering? She’s okay. She’ll keep calling out, but when she doesn’t hear a response, she knows He’s right there, giving a silent nod of encouragement.