Flickr: Meagan
My head spins, temples pound as I hear that three-letter word for the umpteenth time:
“Why?!?”
Before becoming a parent, I vowed to always respond honestly. I was never going to say “Because I said so.” No, I was going to take the time to reply wholeheartedly before they started looking for why’s answer elsewhere.
Keep in mind, this was before I was truly introduced to the age of four and fully grasped what children were capable of.
And I gave this day my very best shot. I went round and round, answering the same question multiple ways. My words few, my answers as honest as I thought he was capable of understanding.
Friends, I don’t want to make him grow up too fast. Some questions deserve to be left unanswered until his faith can catch up with the solution.
I finally exacerbated every reason I felt comfortable giving and still he wanted more. Out of sheer desperation I said,
“Can you just trust me on this one? I’d love to explain more and some day I hope I can; but right now, I need you to trust me. Okay?”
His limbs freeze as he studies my face. I hold my breath and pray for another answer I can give. Then I hear “Okay, mom!” And he skips out of the room, diving deep into legos.
Once I release the sweet sigh of relief, I feel it. That twinge I get just below my ribcage. The pang of guilt. And I hear Him as clear as if He’s standing right next to me.
“My child, can you do the same? Can you trust Me on this one?”
And my inner child wants to plead for more. I want more details. I need to know where the trust will take me. Father, please, can You at least assure me I won’t get hurt?
He doesn’t have to respond. I hear what I thought earlier.
Some questions deserve to be left unanswered until my faith can catch up with the solution.
That evening, when the moon flooded the house with quiet, I read this:
But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.
I praise God for what He has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
Friends, I love my child and would sacrifice all to protect him. Why shouldn’t he trust me? And to think, that love doesn’t even come close to how much my Savior loves me. Why, He’s already proven what He would do to save me.
New plan: I’m going to let go and let God. I’m going to continue seeking His face. For I’m certain I can then say ‘why’ less and ‘okay’ more.
How about you, friend? Does trust come easy for you? How have you learned to let things go and trust God to do what’s best? I’d love to hear.
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Nikki you are so right when you say that answers should wait until our faith catches up. But it is hard to trust…and to wait for those answers!
Trust…Faith…Patience. They all go hand in hand, don’t they! Thanks for sharing with me today, Mindy. Praying you feel His amazing grace today as you strive to trust.
We think we are teaching our children when in reality they are teaching us so much about faith and trust and to have patience. Great post!
Joy
Well said, Joy. So true! Most days I’m certain it is I that is learning more than my preschooler…
Thanks for joining me on the journey, friend!
Trust…will we ever fully be there when we don’t want to know when? how? who? and the details?
Trust is my one word for this year and I can honestly say God has been teaching me a lot about trust for the past few years. I’m getting there, but I have a long way to go.
Love your post Nikki!
Thought about you when I was writing this post, Laura, as I remembered what you were striving for this year.
I think I’m learning that I can never learn enough about it. It’s a daily choice, this trust thing. I’m not certain if it’s ever designed to come easy. For where’s the accomplishment in that?
We’ll have to sit down some day and share our thoughts…
Thanks for sharing with me here, friend!
Oh, sweet Nikki! We do sometimes have to eat our words, don’t we? I ate the same words you’re swallowing now, “I will always answer my child honestly and as simply as I can.” And then . . . they grow and their minds grow . . . and sometimes our answers aren’t just enough. I’ve felt that hollow place in the pit of my stomach, the one you call “guilty,” and that’s just what it is. I’ve often thought it at other times — “Mama, can you read me a story?” I would respond, as a single mom, which is no excuse, “Not now, I’m busy!” And there are many others.
I’m so glad God was right there to nudge with His question about trust. He always wakes us up to the reality of relationships, questions and answers, and what we need to be doing on this journey we’re striving so hard to walk. Bless you for your honesty! You bless me, dear sister in Him.
What would we do without His grace and new mercies, Sherrey! So thankful you have been on this road, too. And have seen how He uses it to draw us closer to Him. To God be the glory. Thanks for sharing with me today!
all for Him with hugs to you,
Nikki
Love the idea of “faith catching up,” Nikki. That’s exactly how it feels for me — overwhelm and fright, then a pause until I can get my focus back where it needs to be.
Thanks for introducing me to this site. Good stuff here!!
Hugs from VA,
Susan
Thank you for following me over here, Susan! This site is my home away from home. Trust you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.
This whole faith catching up concept makes me trust His timing all the more.
Hugs right back to you!
Just had this conversation with a friend the other day. She asked me why I wasn’t questioning what He was doing in my life. I answered simply that I know how much He loves me and that His plans are better than I can imagine. She called it blind faith. I explained how it is just the opposite…I see what He has done in the past in my life and trust my present and future to Him. There is nothing blind about that.
Thanks so much for sharing this today friend. I so enjoy the words He gives you.
Blessings!
Love your thoughts here, Wendy. I think you’re on to something — it’s not blind at all!
Thank you for giving me something to ponder and encouraging me. Thank you, friend!
oh, I can so relate…how God blesses us and teaches us through our children…funny,how it always comes down to trust in a relationship…wise words…thank you, friend, and I’m praying for you…4s were a trying time for us also…love and hugs to you
You said it all right there, Dolly. It does come down to trust in any relationship, doesn’t it! And thank you so much for your prayers. I’m going to miss this four year old stage someday
Oh, I know. I know! I am learning, though. Praise God.
So thrilled we can learn this one together, Tereasa! Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing with me today, friend. Praise God indeed.
My husband gave a sermon on this one time and said, “God tells us as much as we need to know.” Ever since he uttered those words, I’ve been at peace with that thought. Sometimes we just don’t need to know or understand and rest in faith. Love this!
Your husband is a wise man. . . God is so good to protect our hearts that way, isn’t He. Thanks for stopping by, Shelly, and sharing that beautiful nugget of wisdom!