My head spins, temples pound as I hear that three-letter word for the umpteenth time:
Before becoming a parent, I vowed to always respond honestly. I was never going to say “Because I said so.” No, I was going to take the time to reply wholeheartedly before they started looking for why’s answer elsewhere.
Keep in mind, this was before I was truly introduced to the age of four and fully grasped what children were capable of.
And I gave this day my very best shot. I went round and round, answering the same question multiple ways. My words few, my answers as honest as I thought he was capable of understanding.
Friends, I don’t want to make him grow up too fast. Some questions deserve to be left unanswered until his faith can catch up with the solution.
I finally exacerbated every reason I felt comfortable giving and still he wanted more. Out of sheer desperation I said,
“Can you just trust me on this one? I’d love to explain more and some day I hope I can; but right now, I need you to trust me. Okay?”
His limbs freeze as he studies my face. I hold my breath and pray for another answer I can give. Then I hear “Okay, mom!” And he skips out of the room, diving deep into legos.
Once I release the sweet sigh of relief, I feel it. That twinge I get just below my ribcage. The pang of guilt. And I hear Him as clear as if He’s standing right next to me.
“My child, can you do the same? Can you trust Me on this one?”
And my inner child wants to plead for more. I want more details. I need to know where the trust will take me. Father, please, can You at least assure me I won’t get hurt?
He doesn’t have to respond. I hear what I thought earlier.
Some questions deserve to be left unanswered until my faith can catch up with the solution.
That evening, when the moon flooded the house with quiet, I read this:
But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.
I praise God for what He has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:3-4
Friends, I love my child and would sacrifice all to protect him. Why shouldn’t he trust me? And to think, that love doesn’t even come close to how much my Savior loves me. Why, He’s already proven what He would do to save me.
New plan: I’m going to let go and let God. I’m going to continue seeking His face. For I’m certain I can then say ‘why’ less and ‘okay’ more.
How about you, friend? Does trust come easy for you? How have you learned to let things go and trust God to do what’s best? I’d love to hear.