“That’s Not Fair!”

by Barbie


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As a mom, I sometimes hear certain statements made by my children that could rattle my nerves.  One of those is the beloved “that’s not fair” statement.  As a parent, it is my responsibility to teach my children about fairness.  Even so, to a child, almost everything that goes against what they desire is unfair.  At least in my household it is.  If something doesn’t go their way, it’s automatically not fair.

“Mom, why does sissy get to stay up later?”
“Because she’s older.”
“That’s not fair!”

“Mom, can you buy me a candy bar?”
“No. You haven’t had dinner.”
“That’s not fair!”

When my children do not get their way, they often leave frustrated, with arms crossed and a frown on their face.  How many times have I felt like I deserved something from God, only to leave disappointed, pouting and stomping my feet along the way.  I may even have gone so far as to say, “that’s not fair!”  I have been guilty on more than one occasion in thinking that I could do something, or have something, just because I felt like I deserved it.  When God closed the door, I immediately became disillusioned and discouraged.  And I got mad at God.  Of course I never would tell Him.  But then again, I forget that He knows my thoughts before I think them.

It’s not always easy to understand His ways.  But one thing I constantly remind myself of is the fact that He is good and always knows what is best for me.  He sees the end from the beginning.  And because He loves me, He does not hand everything over to me on a silver platter just because I ask.  Sometimes He will call me to wait.  But in this “microwave” society, I don’t always understand why I should have to wait.  At times I’ve blamed God when His blessing has passed me by.  And I’ve questioned Him.  And I’ve told Him I didn’t think He was being fair.

When I was overlooked for ministry opportunities, all I could see was my own desire.  I could not see that God knew that my schedule would not allow me to follow through with the commitment.

When I had to leave a Women’s Conference because my grandmother was sick, what I thought was a huge inconvenience at the time was a tremendous blessing, as I was able to pray with her as she prepared to go home to be with the Lord.

When God holds back an answer to prayer, it sometimes appears as if He’s not there and not listening.  But what I don’t see is that He is calling me up further, closer to His heart, so that I will seek His will in all things.

The Word of God tells us that even though all things are allowed (attainable, within my reach, permissible), not everything will benefit me or the life that He’s called me to.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.  (1 Cor. 10:23 – NLT)

God knows what is best for me.  Even when it appears as if He’s withholding His blessing, I choose to press in, closer to His heart, so that I might know His will in all things.  During those times when I don’t understand the “why” behind the “no”, I choose to trust and believe that He is always good, always fair.

Email Author    |    Website About Barbie

Barbie is a wife and mother to four children. She works full time while juggling faith, family and ministry. She enjoys a good cup of coffee, reading, writing, painting and spending time with family and friends. Visit her blog, My Freshly Brewed Life, or follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Keena September 27, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Thanks for the reminder that life isn’t fair but we still need to trust God. I have a couple of situations in my life that I think is “UNFAIR” but know that God has the best for me even when I don’t like it. Thanks for sharing that timely word


2 Barbie October 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

When we rest in trusting the He ultimately knows what’s best for us, life is so much easier. Thank you for visiting.


3 Kerri September 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Many a time I have had my own temper tantrum calling out to God, “that’s not fair” only to be reminded later that His way, His timing is and was best! Thanks for this reminder to choose to press in closer and trust in Him and His choice and timing.


4 Barbie October 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I’ve shaken my fist and stomped my feet before the Lord on more than one occasion. It’s so hard sometimes to understand His ways. But I’m pressing in, trusting He has His best for me.


5 Kimberly September 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm

He has definitely heard those words from these lips and this heart, as well. I am so thankful I can trust His love for me. That I am safe in His “no”s. So glad He loves us…even when we do throw a good temper tantrum from time to time. 🙂


6 Barbie October 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I too am so thankful for His love. On those days when I don’t understand, it’s His love that keeps me in perfect peace.


7 Wayne Stiles March 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Thanks, Barbie, for this helpful reminder. Kids simply say what we’ve grown up to hide, you know?


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