Mid-Life Mama

by Chelle Wilson



                               

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Wednesday morning, our eldest (aka The Princess) came downstairs and greeted me, warmly, for the first time, as “high school mom.” Her brother, (aka The Professor) moved up from middle school and will be a member of next year’s freshman class. He and his sister will spend one year in school together before she graduates high school in June.

It occurred to me that there are (at least) three phases of motherhood. There are the “moms of littles” years, the “mothers of grown children” years, and, my current situation, living as a Mid-Life Mama. My husband and I are raising teens, and I find the experience of being here remarkable.

I find the experience remarkable because it mirrors so much else about my life at this time. Parenting teenagers involves learning to let go. Our youngest has left the safety of middle school for high school; his sister is now a rising senior preparing to take on the world. I cannot always hold their hands and guide their every steps like we did when they were toddling, but neither are they ready to be released onto the world (do mothers ever fully release their hold on their children?). I find myself in the bittersweet position of Dr. Dolitte’s Push Me Pull You, leaning in and stepping back simultaneously. It is a curious dance.

There is neither manual nor support group for navigating the teen years. I’m not really a manual or support group kind of girl, but you know what I mean. I routinely reach out to my own mother, who remains my example of mothering Godly, Cool, and Elegant-even under pressure (that is what I strive for). I cannot fully articulate the blessing of having her as a sounding board and resource, but I can also appreciate that her context differs greatly from my own. There are friends, either just ahead of me with their own children, or just where I am, and we stumble along together. I am mindful, however, of My Father’s reminders that I am never without good counsel.

Esther, among my favorite biblical examples of Godly, Cool, and Elegant-even under pressure, teaches us that God equips whom He Calls. According to one biblical commentary written by Thomas Klock of Harvest Ministries, the Book of Esther contains great lessons about how we should be living, conducting ourselves on the job, facing opposition, facing success, and looking ahead confidently to the future. Most importantly, it is the best “textbook” of the Scriptures about the providence of God, and how He works in the perfect way and the perfect timing to accomplish His purposes.

My Heavenly Father reminder us that we are never without good counsel.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:3-4 (NIV)

Where Esther ends, the Prophet Isaiah begins. Why stress over any circumstance, over setting boundaries, over whether or not to say “No” in love, in modeling the Grace by which we live by offering it liberally. The Word of God reminds us that we are covered.

So, how does one approach mid-life mothering? Fully enrobed in Grace. Grace derived solely from leaning on the Everlasting Arms. Do you know any teenagers? Then you know what I mean. Living successfully with teenagers means giving and receiving Grace in abundance.

I am praying to remember this once summer ends and the craziness of both the first and the last year of high school descend upon our home. I will rely upon Esther’s example whereby He provides for all our needs, and Isaiah’s assurance that if we keep our minds stayed on Him, our Grace comes in the form of Perfect Peace.

I offer this Godly wisdom to people all the time, but clearly, I haven’t been listening myself. Why do we worry? Our worry serves no purpose and furthermore, we are not in control, certainly not in the midst of Mid-Life Mothering. For me now, for all of us at every stage, we must give it over.

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Email Author    |    Website About Chelle Wilson

I write at the intersection of life and faith, not as a theologian, but a regular person struggling to make sense of it all. I write the soundtrack for my faith…hymns, anthems, jazz vespers and hip-hop Gospel, encouragement to rely upon faith to live and love in the face of confusion. You can visit me at Treat Me to a Feast, Facebook, and Twitter

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Leigh July 29, 2014 at 8:56 am

We approach mothering fully robed in grace–I love that image. Great post!

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2 Chelle July 30, 2014 at 8:29 pm

Leigh,
Thanks so much. IT’s such a blessing to be part of a community of moms who can lean on God, and on one another.
Blessings over you.

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3 Tonya July 29, 2014 at 10:51 am

Chelle,
Beautiful words. I’m entering that stage myself. I hope I remember to be graceful, too….this is a short time we have with our children:)

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4 Chelle July 30, 2014 at 8:30 pm

Tonya,
Yes, the time is short, and remembering Grace is not always easy.
Thank God we have each other.
Enjoy them. Soon enough, they’ll be out of the house and on to their own adventures.

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5 Laura Rath July 29, 2014 at 8:18 pm

Great to see you here Chelle! I have a young teen, and you’re right, it’s a different stage – different dramas and concerns, but also a different relationship…and I like it! And like you, I’m turning to God every step of the way, through every stage.

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6 Chelle July 30, 2014 at 8:34 pm

Laura,
Thank you. There are days when I want to run screaming from the house, but mostly, I am grateful to be part of this part of their lives.
Time moves so quickly, treasure every moment, covering them all in prayer.

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7 Dolly July 29, 2014 at 10:30 pm

Chelle,
Oh, I love your perspective and how you have such a godly example in your own mom, Esther and Isaiah….I need that verse tattooed on my hand 🙂

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8 Barbie July 30, 2014 at 12:47 am

I get to live the teen years twice! I’ve already successfully parented a son and a daughter though the teen years (and married off that daughter), and now, in mid-life, I am bringing up my 11yo son and 14yo daughter through it. I am older and slower, but I LOVE the teen years. I love what you said about approaching motherhood robed in grace. Most definitely true.

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9 Linda July 30, 2014 at 7:35 am

Hey Chelle … this you will survive and thrive in … and then you get to share your wisdom with the next group of up and coming mamas. We all need a mentor, don’t we … and we all need to mentor, too.

Thanks for taking me back to those days. But I do love the season I’m living now!

;-}

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10 Joyce July 30, 2014 at 8:00 am

I love this post, what a wonderful and timely reminder to rest in Him.

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11 Missy July 30, 2014 at 2:33 pm

Knowing that we are indeed never without wise counsel is such a relief! What encouragement you have provided here for us mama’s – no matter what stage of mothering we find ourselves in!

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12 Lisha Epperson August 5, 2014 at 2:59 am

That curious dance has me sitting on the sidelines sometimes Chelle…leaning in to learn the choreography. The teen/tween years around here are a blast – from the first hints of attitude to the joy of really seeing who they are as young adults, it’s certainly a new adventure. Yeah, seeking His wise counsel. Every. Day. Great word/work Chelle.

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