If you look closely at my hands you’ll see scratches, puppy nips, a few age spots, and some small scars. That’s what you’ll see. What you won’t see are the ones from lies, accusations, betrayal, and rejection. Those are the scars I usually keep hidden.
Why?
Because scar exposure is risky. Revealing our worst scars gives people the opportunity to judge whether or not we deserve them.
I often wonder why we’re so quick to judge one another. Why we feel the need to ask:
- if a person with lung cancer was a smoker.
- if the accident victim was texting.
- if the jilted spouse was cold and unloving.
Job’s friends were certain he “deserved” what happened to him.
Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve! Job 11:6
We want people to deserve the bad things that happen to them, because if they deserve them . . . then they can’t happen to us.
The truth is bad things happen. Some as a consequence of our bad decisions, others because of bad choices someone else made, and others because we live in a fallen world where bad things happen.
Analyzing My Scars
I’ve spent hours analyzing my scars . . . what should I have said or done differently. Should I have trusted less? Should I have set more boundaries? Less boundaries? Should I have defended myself more loudly? Should I have fought harder?
All of the “should I” questions haven’t changed a thing. My scars are still there, raised and sometimes a little irritated, but no longer raw wounds. By God’s grace and the power of forgiveness they are healed. They are the past and this is my present.
And in my present….
God is my Strength and my Portion forever.
Several years ago, I chose Psalm 73:26 as my life verse:
My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
I still have moments when I look around and realize my life isn’t what I dreamed or imagined. Some people missing. Some words left hanging. Some memories hard.
But today is still good. Today by God’s grace can be blissful.
Did you know that a synonym of bliss is blessed? By God’s grace today I will count my blessings. I will trust His mercy. I will rejoice in His love.
As a side-note:
I am thrilled to be taking over as the Managing Editor for 5 Minutes for Faith. I looking forward to making this a community where we can safely share our scars, and where we can encourage each other while open wounds heal.
I’m praying that you will leave a comment occasionally, join our Facebook community, follow us on Twitter, and share us with your friends. I’m praying that friendships will grow along with faith.
Hi Deb, I really needed to read these words tonight…one of those days where I have been looking at my scars instead of My Great Physician. Thanks for the words that redirected me, well. Not preachy but just oh so, right on. Today is still good. Even when it’s far from perfect….yes. He is so faithful. Especially when it’s hard we need reminding and remembering. So grateful for your new role here! With love and in His Grace, Dawn
Oh Dawn, I understand. I have days when I prefer to agonize over the scars. Rev has had several surgeries in recent years and I tell him that his scars are sexy. Thanks to one scar in particular, he’s still alive by God’s grace. So, I try to remind myself that by God’s grace too, my scars are part of who I am. Sexy or not – God has used them to focus my heart on Him. Thanks so much for your encouragement!
Deb, scars can sometimes be telling in the very fact that they exist. But, I really appreciate the direction you took this thought in. It was a convicting reminder, this morning, to lean not on your own understanding, but to trust in God. And that helps me remember the beautiful grace in the healing of those hurts that cause the scarring, too. This was much needed this morning. Congratulations on taking over as managing editor here. May God continue to bless this space.
I love when Beth Moore reminds us that scars only form after wounds are healed. They are a reminder of God’s loving presence and the truth that if He has healed our pasts He can heal our futures. Thanks and many blessings to you.
Wow, I so loved these words. Thank you for writing them! I am sometimes unsure about revealing my scars through my writing. Will it help others or will it just sound like a complainer? This post was very helpful to me.
Susie
Thank you Susie. I’ve struggled with how much to share in the past as well. My dh reminded me that one of the things that makes Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” passages so powerful is that we can each see ourselves in them. I guess the message is to share topics without sharing details. It’s not always an easy line to walk. Great to hear from you.
Thank you for this honest post. I usually hid my scars, until I can’t hide them anymore. You are so right in that we can’t always get it perfect. We all go through things, but I am so thankful for this community of women here on the web where I feel safe to expose my scares. Blessings in your new role. I know you will lead beautifully!
I agree Barbie, I love these women. Each putting herself out there to bless others. They’re awesome. Thanks!!
Deb, thank you for these beautiful words that remind me to be generous in mercy, both toward others and with myself. Being honest with the messiness and scars in my life has allowed me to see God at work and give others a glimpse of His glory.
Mandy, It is all about living under grace and giving of mercy. I like your reminder to be generous in mercy with myself. I’m not very good at that, but His grace is sufficient always. It is more than enough even in my weakness. Thanks and blessings!